Wow a whole year of being cuddled and fed spaghetti??
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2026
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It seems like Lemmy is all about trans women, I'm genuinely curious though why we don't have more trans men content. I'd say it's maybe on the order of 10:1 posts celebrating trans fem vs trans masc (obviously not a scientific calculation).
I don't have a lot of background in a lot of trans spaces so this is coming from a place of ignorance, but do people in the community have any insight as to why it seems to be this way?
Take this one for instance, it specifically says trans women. Why wouldn't this just say trans people, comrades or something like that? Is there a large descrepancy between numbers of trans fem/masc or something?
Edit. I appreciate what people have said below. Together these responses give a textured albeit 10,000 foot answer to my question, which was what I was looking for. Thanks ya'll.
There are around the same numbers of transmasc and transfem people in general (according to like surveys and stuff), but imhe, trans men tend to be less online than trans women, particularly in tech oriented spaces like Lemmy, and often when they are they're less visible about being trans and just try to blend in as "one of the guys". I am not a trans man though, so please take my observations with a massive pinch of salt
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put simply, my transmasc brother in law is more concerned about what fish he's gonna catch next than the effects of corporate censorship on the current operating system market share
I hear bluesky has more transmascs tho
Transmascs be like "I just wanna fish for God's sake"
he sent me a photo today, this is the next fish he caught
also that's a shirt that says "im not like other women, I'm a man." and I think it's SO funny because nobody looks twice at him about it
I love that! That's how I'd be cheesin' after every fish too. So wholesome, thank you for sharing!
Yeah, it may be the tech demo that Lemmy serves that skews content the way it does in other places (like bluesky). Another commenter was gesturing in that direction and it makes sense to me. Thanks for taking the time.
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From anecdotal experience trans women are more prevalent in these spaces because many of us have a tech background or know someone who does and is active in these places.
Trans men I know haven't had that kind of connection and are usually less techy and therefore are not in spaces like these.
That said I agree with you that the meme would be cooler if it accounted for all trans ppl alike.
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So here's my guess. I'm not trans, and what I'm about to say is purely my observation and not based on data.
Folks born with male genitalia doing anything that is not cis and straight is frowned upon more than folks born with female genitalia doing the same.
Society finds two dudes kissing more revolting than two women kissing. It also doesn't help that folks who transition to become a woman after having undergone male puberty are much more recognizable as trans. Compare this to trans men, who aren't so easily identifiable as trans.
Hence, trans women have it worse interacting with society compared to trans men. Hence, they crave for a safe space more. Lemmy's instances tend to be these safe places. Hence, more trans women here than men.
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Lemmy is full of tech nerds. AMAB people are encouraged to go into tech, AFAB people are sexually harassed if they go into tech.
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The only trans person I've ever known personally* was a FtM trans guy that I worked with who was mid-transition. He did talk once about how a lot of people forget about FtM trans people.
*I assume there are trans people I have met that I just didn't know were trans. And now I've typed "trans" out so many times that it looks weird to me.
Without doing any research, I feel like I hear about fewer hate crimes targeting trans men than trans women? I'd guess because our society is obsessive with policing women's bodies. A guy with no beard is whatever, but a woman with some fuzz or stubble is a crime.
(Not to say that trans men don't have their own struggles)
Obligatory I’m not trans myself, but this is just my understanding of how people justify their hatred
Trans women also get talked about more bc of the transphobic lie that “trans women are just men that want in on women’s spaces to prey on women” and that “trans women are predators.” This is all bullshit. But it’s built upon the patriarchical idea that men have to protect women from other men. Men are simultaneously painted as the protector and the danger and which category they fall into is generally determined by how close they are to the in-group. So cis het non-white men are “dangerous,” but there might be some “good ones.” And white cis gay men can be “okay,” as long as they don’t “make it their whole personality” (re: keep it a secret and never mention it even once). However, trans women are antithetical to patriarchy so they are seen as like the “most dangerous.” Whereas, trans men, while they aren’t part of the in-group, they also aren’t seen as a threat bc transphobic people think someone AFAB can’t be dangerous. Again, this is all bullshit, but it’s bullshit that people who have bought into the patriarchy believe and act violently upon sometimes so it’s important to understand how they got to that so that we can deconstruct it
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Take my half-baked answer with a pinch of salt. I've no dog in this fight.
We hear more from trans women because nobody cares about men. The media dont attack them so they're not forced to defend themselves.
I'm fairly certain trans people just want to live as whatever gender they're trying to be, they dont want to spend their time talking about who they used to be or the fact that they're different like that. Trans men actually have the opportunity to do so.
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I treat myself pretty badly, so this isn't great news.
Look after yourself miss, there's a random Aussie here hoping you do well.
give urself a hug from me pls :3
How exactly does 2026 eat my ass?
enthusiastically
You knows it 😋
"Having my ass enthusiastically eaten by the personification of 2026, but it's actually a reflection of how I eat a trans girl's ass" by Chuck Tingle
I treat trans women amazing and sadly i got gout for it 3:
woke country songs be like
For the idiots like me who had to google it: HRT increases the risk of gout.
I was over here like “what, did you fuck a trans woman with your big toe?”
Gout also runs in my family so there’s that too which doesn’t help. Got it in the wrist in my dominant hand which is really fun…
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Oh, delightful! I'm not exactly sure how 2026 is gonna give me sloppy head but I'm looking forward to finding out.
Beat me to it XD
That's a lot of drinking and playing war hammer then.
Guess I'm getting head for 2026 then
I do hope 2026 will suck my gock
Great...... Another year of me being completely oblivious and unable to tell people what year it is.
I think I have something akin to face blindness but for gender. Not too long ago I was in a groomsmen for my buddy and his sister was one of the bridesmaids. Im told she was trans, but I had no idea, and he ended up making fun of me for not being aware of it.
Like what do you people want from me? She was in a pretty dress, how am I supposed to know?
Honestly? Based
My super power....... Being to dumb to not be an ally.
All gender affirmation will be supported via my innate ability of being an oaf.
It wasn't that you were too dumb to notice but more that it didn't make a difference when you found out. And I'm sure she would've loved that you thought her dress looked good.
I'd love for everyone to be polite to me and not actively or passively cause me any harm.
If I'm going to be treated as a woman by 2026 I'm going to have to call that some kind of misgendering tbh
I never know if I'm doing enough for trans people. I like to think of my stance towards trans folk as "benevolent indifference." That is - I don't care even the smallest bit if someone is trans. They're a person, and that's all that's needed for my respect.
But I also recognize that that position isn't always enough. It's like when people said "All Lives Matter" in response to the BLM movement. Yes, all lives do matter, and my goal for society would be one where "All lives matter" is the only stance you need, but we don't live in that world and sometimes we have to focus on protecting specific groups.
But, as a white, male, cisgenger christian I also don't want to fall into a "white savior" leadership mentality, so I never know how loudly to speak out on behalf of groups I'm not a part of.
Here's a good one. As a white cis guy, you will be part of private conversations where people are transphobic, because there's no trans people about. You'll be trusted to laugh and agree. Instead, challenge their behaviour. It's a great way to use your privilege for good.
This also works for any kind of privilege.
Benevolent indifference is fine for the most part under normal circumstances... But like there's a lot of things happening where the democratic process is getting actively weaponized against us trans folks. That democratic process depends on numbers and advocacy that directs your representatives to stop creating new pressures and restrictions on trans people is something where the numbers are sorely lacking and trans folk are generally tasked with just educating people they are essentially screaming into the void for help with actually writing to godsdamned representatives.
Like "white savior" stuff is a problem when you swoop in and try and protect someone as an individual. You can call your representative and get a trans high five for free because its not condescension or annoying. It's just plain help for a lot of us who feel sorely left behind by a process that doesn't do the greatest job of protecting minorities.
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I treat other trans people well, but myself quite poorly, so I guess my year will treat me great unless I'm alone?
What trans person did I piss off to have my mom die right at the start of the year?
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