this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2026
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As a moderately broad shouldered guy who prefers side sleeping, I need robust pillow support.

I find that no pillow I buy, at any price, will last more than six months before its going flat every night.

Am I upset about about something that's perfectly normal here?

Like the "normal amount of toilet roll," I feel like this is one of those things that we never know what is normal for others.

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can't even getmy mouth around them.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Never gonna get in front of the camera with that attitude.

Never. It's Temper-pedic foam.

[–] Lokoschade@feddit.org 2 points 1 day ago

I have a feather pillow from Ikea that is a few years old at this point and it still fluffs up just as good as the day I got it. I wash it once or twice a year during the warmer months in the washing machine on a gentle cycle with a wool detergent and let it dry outside in the sun while regularly fluffing it and turning it around so it dries evenly and thoroughly.

While I don't like how feathers are harvested I also don't like how pillows with polyester filling get lumpy after a while and need to be replaced or repurposed because they stop providing adequate neck support. I'm crafty and have used pillow fillings for sewing projects and stuff like that, but already one pillow is enough filling for lots of projects and I can't craft enough to repurpose all so inevitably a lot would still end up in the dump.

All the while my parents still have some feather pillows from when I was a child that are still perfectly fluffy. So as log as I take good care of them, they will hopefully last me decades.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 day ago

im 60, i have never fluffed a pillow, my pillows last decades.

[–] Matt@lemdro.id 31 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Never. I have latex foam pillows that are a solid block, so there is nothing to fluff. It took me a while to get used to how firm they are, but I absolutely love them now.

[–] phant@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

100%. Latex for side sleeping is so good.

I've slept using latex pillows my entire life, can't go without them.

I once forgot my pillow at home on a 1 week trip, and I had terrible sleep the entire time

[–] Zarxrax@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I use a memory foam pillow. There is nothing to fluff.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Maybe I got bad ones but they lose their memory after a while for me.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 4 points 3 days ago

And they sleep hot. Latex does not sleep hot and supports better.

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago

Every night, knead it like my cat taught me.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

have you tried buckwheat hull pillows? they're pretty firm and stay firm in my experience, and you can always take out or add more hulls for a more or less firm pillow - might be helpful?

I sorta struggle with this because I like to sleep on my back, but I like to get sleepy on my side first, and so my pillow needs to be thinner for back sleeping, but when I'm on my side I need more neck support - so I sleep with a little extra pillow or something like a shirt, robe, etc. that I can fit under my neck on just that part of the pillow (also helpful for throwing over my face / eyes so I can sleep in when it's light in the morning).

[–] essell@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Definitely worth a try. I worry they're "noisy" if I move in the night. Which I do. A lot.

[–] LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz 2 points 21 hours ago

Not going to lie, it's expensive...

https://www.pinetales.com/products/buckwheat-pillow?variant=45182891851974

Get the "standard size" and then play with how much buckwheat is inside (there's a zipper)

This one has a little foam pad cover, I find it works better for me since sleeping directly on a bag of buckwheat can feel a little weird.

I fluff it up a little taller when I sleep on my side, then flatten it out to sleep on my back (I switch positions 3-4 times a night). Best pillow I ever owned.

[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They take some getting used to but I absolutely adore mine. I don’t find mine to be noisy but I’ve also found mine has help reduce the amount of repositioning I do at night.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Gotta be worth a try, anything to not be laying here at 1.15am messaging on Lemmy!

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

they're not too noisy in my experience - but it absolutely is an adjustment to sleeping with them

they also really help with overheating in the summer compared to most other kinds of pillows, they breathe much better

[–] essell@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Well, that's a plus! Thanks.

[–] CatWinner@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I’ll add one more pillow recommendation in case it helps you out. I’m a side/back sleeper with lots of pain, and finding the “perfect pillow” was a journey of many annoying years. But! In desperation I tried a water pillow - part memory foam on top a large water bladder that you can fill/adjust to your specifications. The water keeps the pillow firm (or not, depending on how much you add in there). It seals well so you don’t hear sloshing or anything like that at night. And the water helps keep the pillow cooler than usual through the night. I love this stupid pillows now. My partner uses one too, and he’s a huge and heavy guy who rolls around a lot and sleeps in any and all positions. He also loves these pillows! We’ve replaced mine once in about six years, and not needed to replaced his yet.

https://www.mediflow.ca/

Good luck on your pillow search… persist and spend more than you think you should. Sleep is so important, it’s worth the effort to find the “right” pillow.

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Some pillows can be thrown in the dryer for 10-15 min. That can bring extra life into them.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Cool!

Thanks, I'll check that out for these ones

[–] MrQuallzin@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Wife and I have been using our Sleep Number pillows running on 6 years now. Good memory foam, doesn't need fluffing

[–] starlinguk@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Every night. It's a feather pillow, I toss it in the air and let it fall on the bed a few times. I think I learned that from watching Downton Abbey.

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Im a big broad shouldered guy too, I've found that shredded memory foam pillows hold up surprisingly well. You need to pay 80-140 dollars for the good ones though.

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Are you letting the sun “bake” your pillows? Lay them in front of a window or slider that gets good sun to bake them weekly, see if that helps with the fluffing.

Also i use those square pillows.

Pillow cube is one manufacturer.

With that said i find i have to replace my pillows annually.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Never heard of this but I'm up for trying it!

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] essell@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

much appreciated

[–] ryan213@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I bought an Ikea firm pillow over a decade ago and it's still just as good as when I first got it. I've been meaning to replace it but they don't make them anymore.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If they don't make them anymore, can I get your address for no sinister reason?

[–] ryan213@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 days ago

I forgot to mention I also haven't washed it since I got it...

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I didn't know they stopped making them, but I love my firm foam ikea pillow.

[–] ryan213@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 days ago

I've tried a couple of locations and checked online... Couldn't find them at I assumed they stopped making them. Lol

[–] ghost_towels@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago

I fluff mine every night, it’s part of the bedtime routine. Am I not supposed to be doing that? I like my pillows squishy, down, and always sleep with two. I usually sleep with flannel except like three months in summer when I switch to linen.

I used to sleep on my side but I tend to fall asleep better on my back now. With a squishy pillow it curves up around my head and supports it to either side.

[–] unknown1234_5@kbin.earth 2 points 3 days ago

i have to cram it all in the pillowcase and then fold the leftover pillowcase (I have a big pillowcase and normal sized pillow) under the pillow. i usually have to redo it once or twice bc I toss and turn a lot.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Check out the natural latex/wool pillows from Obasan. Love ours. They are quite heavy/firm..

https://obasan.ca/collections/pillows

We also have their wool duvet and love it, and prefer it much more than down.

[–] credo@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

The cookies rejection process was literally five pages, and then it never went away. Screw that company.

[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

What? I like... use pillows. They get old. Sometimes they get gross. Sometimes they get thrown away. Sometimes I buy a new pillow. I'm supposed to be 'fluffing' them? Seems like extra work. Sounds like you work for your pillow. Your pillow should work for you.

Takes like, 2-5 years not 6 months. Buy from Costco? IDK.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

We don't have Costco here but I hear your point.

Fast fashion pillow time.

[–] disregardable@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 days ago

I'm a stomach sleeper, so I prefer my pillow to be worn in and flatter.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

zibroges Goose Feather Pillow... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DPHFC3ND

I'm a side sleeper, and a big guy. I got these in May, and they are STILL as fluffy as when I got them. I've gone through so many pillows and they've all done exactly what you describe, but these are SOOOO comfortable.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If these work, I'll buy you a house internet stranger.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

If I can save someone else some neck pain, it's the least I can do! Definitely let me know what you think