this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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Objectification, hate, rape threats: the politicians debating online abuse mean well, but to truly understand, they need to see what I see

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[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 8 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Interesting article and I think it really highlights how toxic some parts of the Internet are. My only issue is the conclusion,

A social media ban for under-16s might prevent young boys seeing endless content that treats women with contempt and hate. Boys at this age are very susceptible to the cool and funny framing of what is, in reality, relentless misogyny. A ban might not fix the problem, but it would help. If society can’t stop it, it can show it disapproves.

Emphasis mine. Having grown up in a different era I can confirm that boys of a wide variety of ages, including much older "boys", can also be scumbags. Even if we had the perfect technology to ban under-16s from social media, once they hit 16 they'd still be exposed to it, still become terrible people, and the author of this article, although a but older, would still see it. I don't know if that really is a better world, just a slightly delayed one.

I don't know the solution, but I remember reading once that some online game would put all the reported and abusive players into a special category where they would be forced to play only with each other. Maybe we can do that in this case.

[–] sh__@lemmy.world 6 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I kind of feel like social media already does put toxic people together and that has lead them to compete on how toxic they can be. I don't think forcing gross people into communities with a bunch of people who think the same way helps at all. Being seperated from that and seeing more perspectives seems better.

[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

You're right that putting people in bubbles is probably one way some of these things get worse. If all you see is toxic, toxic is the norm, now you're always toxic.

Maybe they can tricked.

Although really what we're talking about is the algorithm that currently exists being focused on highlighting terrible people doing terrible things. Can we turn that same algorithm around and use it for good?

[–] sh__@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Personally I think we should get rid of the algorithms all together and go back to timeline with only people you follow, but I also just looked outside and there are no flying pigs.

I am not sure if the algorithm is particularly evil or just uncaring and optimizing for engagement. An algorithm that specifically tried to keep you out of bubbles would be interesting, but there is the question if people would enjoy using it enough for it to do any good or for companies to want to use it without being forced to.

I try to do my best to stay away from algorithms lately. I think being more intentional about it helps me, but perhaps that doesn't work for some people. I think we need to figure something out though because the effects are obviously pretty bad.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

I have a small tight group of guys and gals I occasionally play online games with and I seldom play games where I'm matched up with strangers. It's not worth it.

As soon as they hear you are a chick... Most usually start with the low hanging fruit "You fat and ugly"

Although one time some guy kept saying I was probably old. Like 40. With 2 kids. I thought that was slightly more creative. But still basic.

I am 40 actually. But I don't have kids and told him No crotch goblins for me. They might end up like him.

Then told him I could tell he was nervous cause his voice was shakey. Asked him if this was his first time talking to a female.

Then I blocked him and left the game so he couldnt do any come back.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 37 points 13 hours ago

the politicians debating online abuse mean well

Hard disagree.

[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 99 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

the politicians debating online abuse mean well

Let me stop you there

[–] lemmyng@piefed.ca 9 points 11 hours ago

The politicians debating online abuse claim to mean well.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 58 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I'd give her a pass for being 15

[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 6 points 12 hours ago

That's fair. She'll get it.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 38 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

That sounds awful why would you keep using a platform like that?

[–] capt_kafei@lemmy.ca 41 points 13 hours ago (7 children)

Presumably because all of her friends do, and if she quits using it, then she'll be left out of her friends' group chats on IG and be out of the loop on jokes and memes between her friends. Might seem unimportant to an adult, but devastating for a teenager.

Your comment is similar to saying "cyberbullying isn't real, just turn off the PC". Because getting pushed out of social spaces on the internet leaves kids feeling isolated, and deprives them of access to shared spaces that their friends use to connect with each other.

One might say "They can just connect in person!" Presumably they do, but the internet is an inescapable part of modern life and that is unlikely to change. We should push for a better internet, rather than telling people to simply stop using it if they're suffering.

[–] anthropozaen@feddit.org 1 points 58 minutes ago* (last edited 57 minutes ago)

How about using just the chat feature or maybe watching her friends stories and posts, instead of doom scrolling reels from strangers? It's not hard myself. But perhaps it's harder if you spend your entire day on your phone hopping between various doom scroll brainrot apps.

[–] XiELEd@piefed.social 14 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I used to be bullied hard in elementary for being neurodivergent and "living under a rock", and I did not know what was cool or uncool because I didn't have WiFi at home. To illustrate how ridiculous it was, I got bullied for playing Minecraft to the point that if I left my redstone blueprints on my table they would crumple it, and whenever I ate vegetables they would say, "ew vegetables!!!".

[–] capt_kafei@lemmy.ca 8 points 12 hours ago

That sounds terrible. I'm sorry you were treated so badly.

[–] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

But what’s the cost of them being forced to use these online spaces to connect? Is it greater or less than the cost of not using them at all? Seems to me the balance is going farther and farther to the side of using them being worse than not every day. Body shaming, predators, addiction. We didn’t let kids smoke because it increased their social circle did we?

[–] capt_kafei@lemmy.ca 11 points 12 hours ago

I don't think kids should be "forced" to use social media to connect. I was trying to say that the current reality is that kids rely heavily on the internet for social connection, whether we like it or not, and telling kids to "just stop using it" is not going to help those that are struggling.

I think there is a need for better government regulation to make social media a healthier place for both kids and adults, but I'm not yet sure what the best implementation of that should look like. Leaving age verification to private companies has already resulted in damaging data breaches and will continue to do so.

Many people advocate for a social media ban for kids under 16, but the predictably imperfect implementation of that means that some kids can easily bypass facial verification and continue using social media, while others cannot and get excluded. I'm reminded of a quote from this article:

One parent told the Guardian their 15-year-old daughter was “very distressed” because “all her 14 to 15-year-old friends have been age verified as 18 by Snapchat”. Since she had been identified as under 16, they feared “her friends will keep using Snapchat to talk and organise social events and she will be left out”.

We need a way to regulate social media that is both privacy-preserving and also avoids excluding or isolating kids. Maybe some kind of ban for under 16s is the right path, but at a minimum, it needs secure identity verification provided as a service by the government, where your identifying information is never visible to the private companies running the platforms. Because they will fuck it up or abuse it.

Maybe instead of a full ban, we should instead ban advertising targeting youth, and ban algorithmic feeds & suggested content for kids. Make it so teens can only see posts from people they follow, in chronological order, so they eventually run out of new things to see and close the app for the day.

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[–] dil@piefed.zip 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I feel bad for my indian nieces, they get the worst of all worlds on the internet, think they stick to roblox tho no social media for them

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 21 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

roblox tho no social media for them

Oh boy.. in sorry to be the one to point this out. Roblox is a problem.

https://www.theguardian.com/games/2026/feb/20/los-angeles-sues-roblox-la-county

[–] dil@piefed.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

Ik but they do dress to impress type kid sht, not really chatting and not that much videogame type screen time, they more watch youtube/tv, groomings everywhere, at least they arent actively facing racism for their appearence/culture since thats not exposed

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 64 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

NEVER use social media that requires your personal information. Try not to use it at all.

This is a voluntary social disease. It’s not necessary.

[–] LordDaveTheKind@piefed.social 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

You cannot ask a 15 year old for that. They are subject to peer pressure. The only way is to forbid or restrict the access to Social Media to minors. The real question is: who must do it?

Forbid this, forbid that... How about actual fucking parenting instead? As a "zoomer" who used to use antisocial media back when I was 15 but didn't end up encountering all this objectification crap 'til much later on in life despite being having better computer skills than my parents, let me testify that having hobbies helps. And most of my hobbies developed with considerable help from my parents whom I was able to ask for help/advice.

[–] CosmoNova@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

My teachers taught me to never ever give my personal data away to strangers for my own safety. Now politicians want to force everyone to do just that. For safety reasons…

[–] Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 17 points 14 hours ago

This young woman is an exceptional writer. Not many her age can achieve such coherency and well laid structure in longer essays.

I hope she will continue using her skills and keep fighting against this new rise of misogyny.

[–] BigTrout75@lemmy.world 8 points 14 hours ago

I heard a comedian once compare the Internet to driving in traffic. A lot of people in the Internet treat each other like crap. I would argue that it's even promoted on some platforms. I don't see this changing.

[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 8 points 15 hours ago

She doesn't know the half of it. She's a good kid

[–] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 4 points 13 hours ago

Hopefully the next generation of girls and boys growing up just never starts using these shit platforms and they all collapse under their own bullshit in the next few years. Social media is absolutely not necessary and is actively detrimental to good health.

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