I knew this guy. He always wanted to suck my Schlong or f with me. Told him i ain't gay. He replied he neither, he just finds vaginas disgusting (Women in general, Vaginas just being the "most disgusting" part) and schlongs beautiful, hence it's not gay at all. He just prefers guys coz they have said dingdongs.
Told him that was somehow very gay. He got really really really pissed at me for hinting he might be gay. He hates gays and find them repulsive. It was at this point that i realized, he verbally held me hostage. How to reply to that? I didn't know.
EDIT: That wasn't a joke or satire, he was dead-serious about it. That level of cognitive dissonance is hard to find, even in religious people :-)