this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2026
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A hospital in Toulouse, southwest France, confirmed Sunday they had treated a man who was admitted with a shell lodged in his rectum -- after calling a bomb disposal team.

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[–] MantisToboggon@lemmy.world 44 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is that how the three seashells work?😐

[–] Gsus4@mander.xyz 14 points 1 month ago

I think he tried too hard...

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ohhh, THAT type of shell.

I respect the man for not lying about it, at least.

[–] tal@lemmy.today 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think that if you show up at the hospital with a shell vanished up your rear, probably one way or another they're gonna figure out that there's a shell up there.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

But what if you use the cli?

I'll be here all week

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 month ago
[–] EpicMuch@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 month ago

This is not how anyone ever wants to show up on the news, let alone internationally

[–] Bot@sub.community 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I was on the edge of my seat, wondering, Sea, clam, snail, tortoise, coconut, or secure.

[–] riskable@programming.dev 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Everyone that said they "dropped a bomb in the toilet" is just a poser. This guy is the real deal.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 3 points 1 month ago

Don't nobody go in there for 704 million to 1.4 billion years.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He probably thought he had nothing Toulouse trying that 

[–] Dremor@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And wanted to do something Nice to himself.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

I doubt he was compus mentus, he probably had a few Alés in him 

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm disapointed they didn't mention the calibre. Was it a 50BMG cartridge? A 12.7mm machine gun shell or a 155mm artillery shell?

[–] aramis87@fedia.io 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The team in the operating room found themselves having to extract a “collectible shell nearly 20 centimetres long” (nearly eight inches).

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago

Everyone knows it's a myth that length is important. Women of discerning taste and frenchmen of questionable apetites need girth! ;)

What's the diameter?

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Everything's a dildo if you're horny/brave enough." - man.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That Mario Lemieux sure had a way with words.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago
[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago

Oh it's not part of the Iron Harvest, this guy was using a dud on himself, meh.

Rectum, hell it killed 'em!

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Was reading about this on local news yesterday and it's already here?! Poor lad... Even with our stringent laws regarding patient confidentiality, it's gonna be hard to live it down.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

almost as hard as living with unexploded ordinance stuffed in your rectum.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

On the plus side, he won't have to literally pay for it for the rest of his natural life. I wonder how much that would cost, in the US.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

the same amount it would cost when an unexploded ordinance explodes in your rectum.

an arm and a leg.

[–] miss_demeanour@quokk.au 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why would they use a shell in his rectum instead of a colonoscope?

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 month ago

Treatment is different in France.

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

“I slipped in the shower and fell on it.”

[–] djmikeale@feddit.dk 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wow he must have felt quite BASHful getting that procedure done

[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] djmikeale@feddit.dk 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

Should have ctrl+d exit.

[–] raman_klogius@ani.social 5 points 1 month ago

My guy is definitely shellshocked after this.

[–] QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago

Damn you were fast, I was about to post about this!

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Why do I know this?

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Here I was ready with a 1000 mollusk jokes, but I'll clam up as it's not that type of shell.

His gas has to be deadly, did he bomb the toilet before going to the hospital? At least he's OK and the doctors now have Somme more war stories to tell about this guy.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

Situation was a bit HEATed, I would venture...

[–] sturger@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

This isn’t even the first time someone went to the hospital with an explosive round stuck in their asshole.