this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2026
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Science Memes

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Yeah. I'm on the spectrum alright (slrpnk.net)
submitted 5 days ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to c/science_memes@mander.xyz
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[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 58 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)

If you really want "beast of Satan" territory (imo, Poltys are just very cryptic):

  • For behavior, I'm going to appeal to the Brazilian wandering spider which is extremely aggressive, likes to hide in human living spaces, is mobile, and is severely venomous (including causing a painful priapism).
  • For prey, going with the Goliath birdeater. I think tarantulas are cute, but this one has the legspan of a fucking dinner plate, weighs up to like a 1/5 of a kilo, has a massive body, has 4 cm fangs, and is large enough to prey on small terrestrial vertebrates.
  • For sheer vibes, going with the giant huntsman spider. It lives in caves in Laos, has a legspan of up to 30 cm like the Goliath birdeater (but proportionally smaller body, amplifying the creepiness), was only discovered in 2001 despite being so huge, and as a huntsman is probably fast as fuck. Unsure about the venom; I've never researched it.
  • See also: trapdoor spiders.

Not putting any of these images here in case anyone's arachnophobic. Exposure therapy only works if you build yourself up to it, and I don't want anybody to miss out on a chance to come to appreciate spiders.

[–] confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 5 days ago

I've seen a massive huntsman spider in Australia. I was trimming palm fronds with a saw on an extended pole and one palm frond hit the tree trunk on the way down. The huntsman managed to safety land on the tree trunk while the frond fell to the ground.

That spider was way bigger than my hand and demonically fast. Was super cool to see such a big one.

It's nice that they are generally chill around people. I had a much smaller one living in my room's air conditioning unit. It always came out at night and chilled on the wall while I slept and disappeared during the day.

I never handled a huntsman but I was never really bothered by them during my time in Australia.

[–] GreatTitEnthusiast@mander.xyz 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

TIL we eat Goliath Bird Eating Spiders and they taste like shrimp

[–] MotoAsh@piefed.social 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Who is this 'we'?

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Them, you and i? There are 3 of us at least.

[–] MotoAsh@piefed.social 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I don't eat spiders! I'd have to be really hungry to try, too. I'd try crickets and other bugs before spiders for sure.

I know some cultures eat spiders on the regular, but the creepy factor is too strong for me.

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I also don't eat spiders, for the same reason and also why would i eat a fucking spider?

I was only being silly.

I saw a documentary about a town in Thailand, where spiders were pretty much the local cuisine. They said they tasted somewhat like chicken.

[–] MotoAsh@piefed.social 2 points 5 days ago

I don't doubt that they could be tasty. There is just a mountain of 'ick' to get through first for me. lol

[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

For USAians, a fifth of a kilogram is 200 grams, almost two quarter pounder burgers.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 6 points 5 days ago

Huntsman venom is paralytic and wouldn’t kill you if bitten. The giant huntsman reportedly will just make you nauseous and leave a painful and swollen bite. 

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 36 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Ok, but look at that derpy face of the twig spider (Poltys columnaris)!!

And that tall butt situation!

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago

They make the traditional Spider-Man web

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago

It's just being a little stick!

[–] new_world_odor@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What a unique looking lil guy, wow! I am terrified of spiders except for the jumpers (fat stubby legs so cute), and apparently this guy! It looks so different from any spider I've seen before. Very neat.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Spiders have so many species tho, we won't even know them all.


(Except the twigs, and one ant, these are jumping spiders.)

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

there are some resembling wasps and bees too.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Humans too ...
(Poor bastards have to mimic going to work & enrich shareholder value. Jeff still doesn't know I'm the one leaving him lil bags of flies as office snacks.)

Then again, other things mimic spiders too, like this froghopper.

Or

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Is the left really cute? It looks like an uncanny abomination with human bate on its head like an angler fish

[–] GaMEChld@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

I think that's more its bottom. I think it shakes its bottom as a mating dance or something.

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 3 points 5 days ago

Can't tell me those big eyes ain't cute

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 days ago

go away, bating

[–] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What kind is the one on the right? Never seen a spider like that before.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Looks like a species from the genus Poltys.

[–] Sunshine@piefed.ca 3 points 5 days ago

Definitely on the things to watch out for when visiting Asia, Africa and Oceania.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 5 days ago

Be a stoat Satan?

[–] hessenjunge@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 5 days ago

I get the choice re the optics. Still I’d put a camel spider or a Sydney funnel-web spider on the right.

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 days ago

Be a St (saint) of Satan?

[–] M137@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

0.0001% of spiders are cute, and even those only in some photos/videos. The rest make my bones itch and my soul pucker.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The left side should be one of them European house spiders, which look like this, are a couple centimeters in size, and are completely harmless. I might have some in my apartment, at least I see them from time to time. I know they put up a little web in the upper corners of the room, but that doesn't seem effective.

[–] EncryptKeeper@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Yeah fuck no. Left side should only be a jumping spider lol

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Can't get spectrum out here. All the nodes look like they'd been tractored