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Genuinely this is why it's important to humanize autistic people. If you paint autistic people as incapable with high support needs, they won't get the help they need to grow up. It fucking sucks, and organizations like Autism Speaks contribute to this notion of autistic people being a drag on society instead of people who just need to be taught things a little differently sometimes.

Yeah I had a friend in college I had to help learn to be an adult in her late 20s because her parents just assumed she couldn't do things and never taught her to try thanks to her autism. She grew increasingly angry at them the more she learned she could have always been independent

Honestly, thanks. I never heard my brother say that although I know he is appreciative ... but like, I've never heard it. So thank you.

I actually agree with you. My twin nephews are high functioning though. However, their outbursts, communication skills and stuff are just quite delayed. Their math is absolutely amazing though. When they were around 6 they knew their times table up to 13. I taught them quite a lot myself with long division, fractions, 2D-3D formulas of shapes and a few formulas I thought were fun like the sum of natural numbers. All by 8.

The bathroom thing is hilarious because the eldest learned later than the youngest but the youngest just doesn't understand he needs to go until it's an ABSOLUTE EMERGENCY. lol, so many close calls and umm ... "accidents". I also had to teach their parents that they shouldn't give them a full glass of water every night because they seem to consistently wet the bed.

I hate judging parents, so what you're hearing is a total outburst of 3-5 years of living with them and just getting so exhausted -- like I'm a single guy living in London and every week would be something new to me. I literally put so much time and money because I saw the parents not putting the required effort for these types of kids ....

(sorry more ranting ...)

They both love watching K-Dramas (as they should). However, they would watch it till like 2-3am on a Friday. Weekends they would sleep in until 2-3pm. They used to keep the kids up until 1am-2am because "they" were up. After I got there, they finally put the kids to sleep at a reasonable hour like 9pm. However, on Saturday morning the kids would be up at 7am and they would just sleep in. My brother would wake up fix the kids some breakfast and then hand the kids an iPad and then go back to sleep himself. Bear in mind he doesn't wake up until afternoon, so the kids would have an iPad for 6 hours or so before the day started for them. There's a lot more where the mum was working or gaming in her room all day (my own mum and me would be taking care of the kids) ... she would leave the room to say "goodnight" to the kids and then she would go back to her room. My brother would do the same. I don't mean to demean their jobs but I don't think any job requires you to stay at your computer THAT long and I'm a programmer.

Also my brother wouldn't buy the kids "books" because they don't know how to read yet. They didn't understand the concept of reading to your kids until I did it and they felt embarrassed.

Honestly, parenting really isn't easy. I feel as though it was simpler in my parents generation because it feels like every parent needs to monitor their kids far more now. Also, if it was easy, I wouldn't be helping this much to get them out. I still love them all (even the parents I'm trashing) and I wouldn't have traded this experience for anything. Seeing the kids learn and pick up things and the bond they have with me is priceless.

As a parent trying to get a kid potty trained, modern diapers are also a problem. They are too good at their job, so there is less negative consequences and it takes them longer to identify the feelings of needing to go.

Lazy

That is in a way correct. Washing cloth diapers was incredibly annoying and single use diapers have been a big relief. Before that, the need/urge/desire to get rid of diapers was a big factor in deciding when to approach potty training.

But maybe it is a good thing that kids aren't being rushed anymore and are given the time they need to understand their bodies. Child led potty training is an incredible privilege and I can absolutely understand that 50 years ago this would have taken the strongest nerves to practice.

As a teacher that paid good money to get the training, certification, and multiple degrees; I would never consider a position having to deal with human feces.

Unless it's very specialized special education, a student's personal hygiene should be a family responsibility.

I would say average age to be finished is before 4, so three. You can start whenever you like, but starting is sure as shit not finishing. My daughter was 2 and just slipped the switch. My son was more of a gradual change. Kids let you know what they're ready for, and I'm not one to force things. I watch parents and kids pull their hair out forcing things because of X, Y, and Z, but I don't see the point in stressing everyone out. And it all got done, everyone's happy. I will stress them out in a few years, when they're older.

Germany here. It is now not expected that your kid is fully potty trained when they start kindergarten at 3 years old anymore - at least not in the majority of kindergartens ("it would be nice, but it is not obligatory"). The reason is that there is a push to not start potty training before the kid shows signs of readiness. And this is often not the case before 2.5-3 years. Not in the majority of cases but some kids don't have the necessary body feel (which is a neurological development) to do successful potty training.

Now, we also have to discuss how we define "potty training". Over here, it is normal to keep a potty and offer to try it, but you don't take away a toddler's diaper and let it sit on a potty until stuff comes out. So I am talking about child led potty training where they take the incentive, but are offered the access regularly and obviously are then shown how to wipe and wash their hands.

If I remember correctly, research shows that earlier potty training takes longer until the kid is considered potty trained (i.e. few to no accidents during the daytime). Another reason for the push to do it later - besides bodily autonomy - is that potty training that is done too early often uses tactics such as putting the kid on the potty "just in case", which is now considered not ideal, since the kid doesn't learn to feel when the bladder is actually full.

Moreover, kids often change from early daycare to kindergarten at age 3, which is considered a major life event that often leads to a regression in potty training. Our kid was almost completely potty trained at 3 years old but when she started kindergarten (without having been to early daycare) she regressed immensely due to the stress and it took a couple of months until she was fully potty trained again. However, it was her teachers who advocated not to rush her and give her the time she needs and who reassured us that this is very normal, and I am grateful they did.

I find the article a bit misleading because it doesn't clarify what age the kids are and what school we are talking about. Or how exactly they define potty training. It makes it sound like a quarter of seven year olds who are in first grade shit in their diapers. I mean, maybe they do, but it is unclear what they are talking about. Most kids will, at a certain age, absolutely lose it if they happen to poop or pee their pants (even in diapers). Apart from one autistic child I really don't know any kid that regularly does its business in diapers at age 5. There is also a sense of societal norms and wanting to belong - also something that the teachers told us before we started kindergarten - so usually the diapers go away because the kids don't want to wear them anymore. They want to be big.