this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 83 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Surprising things happen when you yell random stuff in the middle of the city

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 84 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I yelled the N-Word in Alabama, they elected me Mayor of the town I was in. Unfortunately I turned down the position because the town population was three tumbleweeds and a goat.

[–] SmackemWittadic@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

So the 3 tumbleweeds and goat are racist?

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 22 points 1 week ago

No no, they're the actual voters, and are racist, but they identify as tumbleweeds and goats; oh, and hate Trans people, and have no sense of irony.

Democracy is three tumbleweeds and a goat voting on what to have for lunch.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 14 points 1 week ago

Fake, they don't have tumbleweeds in Alabama, they have kudzu.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 week ago

Any city on the West Coast, you yell "Hella", someone will say "Dope"

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 week ago (3 children)

come on guys it's been a day and a bit... I only click on these to see how it gets explained as fake and gay

[–] Johanno@feddit.org 26 points 1 week ago

Fake

Op going outside

Gay

Op getting answered by another male

[–] Soulcreator@programming.dev 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Well because you asked... It's fake because if you're a native New Yorker (or I assume if you've lived there long enough) you become numb to the nose and stop hearing it. And probably more importantly, people scream at the top of their lungs in NYC all the damn time, New Yorkers DO. NOT. RESPOND. YOU DO NOT LOOK. YOU IGNORE. Eye contact is a great way to get assaulted by a homeless person who is possibly dealing with psychosis.

Lastly NO ONE in New York uses the phrase "badda bing badda boom", that's some lame Hollywood trope, I've literally never heard anyone use it in real life.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Eye contact is a great way to get assaulted by a homeless person who is possibly dealing with psychosis.

Hey now, that's not fair. In NYC, it's also a great way to get scammed by fake monks.

[–] anas@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] lemming741@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

OP was seeking the attention of a greasy dude in a tank top

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 4 points 1 week ago

And even if not directly seeking it, he got pleasure from a greasy dude in a tank top.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fake: OP talks in public

Gay: OP is catcalled

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Chef's kiss

[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago

That's Brooklyn for you, I prefer Manhattan

[–] Starski@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 week ago

God Dangit, I'm like a little less than one year younger than this mfer. Shit was looking way up for me back then.

[–] lIlIllIlIIIllIlIlII@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
  • Fake: anon goes out
  • Gay: anon is doing things with a fat guy
[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 3 points 1 week ago

We’re walkin here!

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Infiltration phase 1 completed