this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] r00ty@kbin.life 278 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Going to be honest, with that many records and such a short primary key, she's running the risk of duplicate key issues.

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 59 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Coding data in emojis is also a terrible practice. This dataset just screams "amateur."

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Wait, this wasnt the reason utf8 support was added to most databases?

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

That reminded me of a time our data warehouse broke when we had a person named Katherine apply for a job. In the Workday form entry she put a 😸 emoji.

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[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

FY2025,-10000,😤😔💸

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[–] MakingWork@lemmy.ca 29 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

This looks like a baby names list and it looks like her baby will be named Caleb. Lol

Its even in alphabetical order.

[–] NoPanko@feddit.uk 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yeah she just wanted to rate the name matt twice

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[–] ViperActual@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

There's already a duplicate

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[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 144 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)
[–] Pistcow@lemmy.world 76 points 2 months ago

Congrats for the ok weinering.

[–] zen@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 months ago

It's okay Quinn, I'd give you a second shot :)

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[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

She rates dudes like I rate beer.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Some of my other faves: 1698 (Shepherd Neame), King Goblin Imperial Ruby (Carlsberg), Old Peculiar (Theakston).

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[–] big_slap@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago
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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 42 points 2 months ago

My bestie's name is Caleb and, at least before he was married, he did pull a lotta tail.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 34 points 2 months ago (25 children)

Damn Caleb, what's your secret? Teach us your techniques!

[–] KuroiKaze@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (5 children)

As everyone has pointed out Caleb likely doesn't have a big dick he just knows how to slowly build his erotic sensuality and authentic enthusiasm with proper cunnilingus.

Men overwhelmingly think women care about dick size, muscles, and cars than they actually do. That's the secret to happiness homies. All that stuff does is get your attention from other men.

LESS GYM

EAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES

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[–] TheOneAndOnly@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"The smiley face is when I go down on the guy.

The smiley face with lashes is when the guy goes down on me.

The circle is for when we have sex.

The circle with the X is for when I have an orgasm.

The house is when we do it inside

and the grass is for outside..."

[–] ForgottenUsername@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

So what's the 💾 mean?

🤣🤣

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 15 points 1 month ago

The 3½" floppy disc icon means he has the most important thing, the thing women crave, the thing that drives all women crazy with lust: a vast and meticulously organised collection of fully working computers and consumer electronics from the 80s and 90s.

[–] TheOneAndOnly@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Obviously, that one's a keeper. 😉

[–] Parabola@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

What, like in the back of a Volkswagen?

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's unreasonable to expect everyone to be a Caleb but if you're a Sam you need to start doing research and practicing.

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[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 21 points 2 months ago

All hail Sam for participation award.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I want to know what all the emojis mean. Clearly each has a meaning, and some have a few, indicating she has intimate knowledge of something.

Go, Caleb, you dog!

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[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Caleb is probably a wish that isn't even going to happen with those numbers; better be more concerned about Ryan.

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[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Can I have calebs phone number?! For a friend

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

It's an eco-friendly alternative to a punch card customer loyalty program.

[–] three@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can put any name you want to on a dating profile.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I’m gonna use the name “three.”

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[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

At least Ryan can get her off.

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[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Dam im only a 6?

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