You're describing OCD.
OCD is treatable, so I'd work towards getting a formal diagnosis and begin treatment.
this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2025
32 points (88.1% liked)
No Stupid Questions
44941 readers
956 users here now
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
This. It is very treatable, but requires a good therapist and a strong desire to overcome the condition. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can be used to help you understand that the anxious thoughts are entirely irrational, and then willful counteracting behaviors (e.g. going outside, resisting the urge to wash hands, touching stuff without a Kleenex, etc) gradually erode the problem behaviors until your brain is effectively rewired. It takes dedication and consistency, but if done, it’s very effective.
My spouse has this exact same thing, the thing that worked for them is OCD therapy.
OCD therapy is a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure therapy, and occupational therapy (which despite the name is more just about strategies to use for practical things like going to the store, out to a cafe, etc)
It hasn’t been easy but they’ve been keeping at it and it’s really helped them in a way nothing else has.
There are very few problems so large that they can’t be solved, but that doesn’t mean the solutions aren’t big and scary themselves. It’s easy to say “go get therapy” but I know that the reality of doing so is difficult. I’ve seen it now first hand how hard it is, but it’s worth it.
The phone call to discuss whether or not they can help is free, NOCD
Take care of yourself, you deserve it.
On top of this, medications like Sertraline help with OCD. (You'll probably want both until you're steady, not just therapy or meds.)
A BIG thing about OCD is that LMFT's (your standard therapist) can't diagnose it! You need to see a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis.
It's made a huge difference for multiple people in my family once the first one of us got diagnosed.
microbes are all on your skins, in your nose, intestines. most of them are beneficial, yea its a disorder to be that obsessed with it, probably some psyhological, clinical appointments might useful.
So sorry. Please see a therapist if you can afford it, this sounds like a big deal.
Same position. Covid ruined my autism
Same, dude. Gave myself surface germaphobia during a plague that turns out doesn't really transmit via surfaces. I've made lots of rituals over the years about the objects that I touch. Hand sanitizer everywhere, cell phone sanitizer, gloves, etc. Went a little too far for a while, now I'm also trying to crawl back into normalcy.
Biggest positive change I've made recently is this: if I'm not eating finger food, what the fuck does it matter if my hands are dirty? I've got my cell phone in my hand right now, I'm touching the TV remote, I've got a can of beer. Not freaking out. I'm gonna scrub my hands like a surgeon before I eat this bag of chips, but right now? Fine.
Still got some hangups about doorknobs and sink handles, but I'm miles better than I was a few years ago.
Fun fact, copper, brass, and silver are anti-microbial, so a lot of old-time door handles were anti-microbial. Odd coincidence, isn't it?
Hey, sounds like you really recognized how to balance a real need for sanitation with keeping sane in a world that is often indifferent.
This is just common sense in the end. I'm kind of grossed out that in Europe, people don't wash their hands before eating with their hands. Compared to the Middle East where the dustiest falafel shack has a sink with soap right by the entrance, I'd say it's a weird cultural quirk.
Same goes for the kitchen of the vast majority of people where I live. Why no soap by the sink? Some actually wash their hands with dish soap which is really bad for your skin, but most just use water only. I try to politely ask if I can gift them some soap when I visit. Helps keep me sane.
Your hands are made to interface with the world. They will get dirty, and that's fine. You just need to get the gunk off them before touching your face or vagina.
You just need to get the gunk off them before touching your face
My face is itchy and I wanna touch it all the time 🙃
Edit: I will probably be downvoted to hell for engaging with the fear. I refuse to treat any fear of disease as invalid, for personal and historical reasons. Feel free to downvote.
I have been wearing a P100, 3M 6000-series half-face respirator everywhere I go in public for the last 5 years (genuinely far more comfortable than any other mask I've ever worn). I have particularly compelling reasons why my doctor and I feel this is necessary. In my experience, it's an effective measure, and I literally teach high school 8 hours a day with it on. It is simply normalised that Mr. Wolfram wears that mask. In my experience, the trick is this:
- if someone wants you somewhere badly enough to demand you go out of your comfort zone, then they want you there badly enough to be brought out of their own comfort zone by having Darth Vader show up. They want you there for you, and whatever it takes to make you feel safe is a worthwhile price to have you there.
- People who look at you weird are not people you want to be around. People who ask you why you are wearing it are worth a brief explanation, and the simple fact is, nobody really gives enough of a shit for it to matter.
- I have gotten very good at not inhaling when I don't have my respirator up, so I'll take it off momentarily to explain the situation to anyone who asks, and they are, 19 times out of 20, immediately understanding and we both go on with our days.
- You have to make your own threat model. For me, I'm to the point where I'll downgrade to an N-95 in my therapist's office (since we're 1-on-1 and nobody else has been in that room for 15 minutes) and when I go to a triannual game night at a friend's house, because i know they're all vaccinated, and I trust them to tell me if they're sick.
- Outside of some place like Japan, where societal pressure has led to an actual culture of hygiene, propriety, and basic consideration of others, you simply cannot assume that people give a flying fuck about their effects on the people around them. In a million ways, from cutting in line or on the highway, to playing music or a phone call on speaker on public transit, to the myriad externalities of the way they live, they inconvenience you and others around them. This is, unfortunately, normalised throughout most of the world, and bad hygiene surrounding infectious disease is just another part of that. Unlike playing music on a bus, however, poor infectious disease hygiene can lead to someone else's death. You have to decide the precise level of risk and investment you're willing to accept, and fuck anyone who disagrees with you. They can either deal with your non-negotiables or not. Set a clear fucking boundary. Rather than demanding that they act in accordance with your whims, judge by their past actions how they fit into your threat model and inform them of your new criteria by which you feel safe to engage with them and the world.
Note: a P100 filter literally filters out all particulates and organic vapours, so I also don't have to deal with other people's BO, the smell of a public restroom, nasty perfumes, cigarette smoke, or car exhaust. Each filter lasts me a couple weeks of near-constant use without any vapours or particulates getting through. It is the greatest peace of mind I have ever been granted in my life.
It's not my bag, but you do you boo!
Oh, it's DEFINITELY not for everyone, but as something wildly outside the norm (unless you're in a fallout game) I think it serves to prove a point: whatever the OP needs to do to feel safe enough to engage with society, they should do, but the onus is on them. They have to set and communicate boundaries. They can't assume that people will change how they live their lives for them. If that means that they look like a batman villain when they go to the grocery store? Well, turns out everybody else has their own problems, and nobody really cares. If they can find a solution that makes them feel like they can engage with society in a healthy way, then they should go all-in. Virtually nothing they could do would be more patently ridiculous than wearing a gas mask everywhere they go, so if I can manage five years non-stop, then surely there must be some solution that they can find.
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
I’m a bit of a germaphobe as well. I bring a small bottle of isopropyl alcohol and tissue/wipes so I can do quick wipes of surfaces I’ll get in contact with for a significant period of time (i.e. restaurant seat/table, office desk, movie theater headrest if not wearing a hoodie, etc.).
I pull long door handles at the bottom because it’s the least likely to have been touched by lots of people or use my shoulder or foot to push open doors.
I keep hand sanitizer handy as well. I sometimes have to stop myself because I instinctively grab it out of my pocket after shaking someone’s hand, and I don’t want to look rude so will only sanitize out of sight.
I don’t feel paranoid at all because it’s routine to me and I can live my life normally without it being a hassle. Just take minor steps to make yourself feel a little more comfortable, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.