Iirc the actual wording used in the bibble was something like "showered her in gold." Take that how you like
this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2025
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I am not taking that.
TAKE IT BITCH
It tastes just like raisins
Oops, wrong thing.
GIVE IT BACK
By the stroke of his mane he turns into plane and he turns back again when you tug on his winkie!
Uh, that's dirty!
Do ya think so? Then I better not show you how the lemonade is made!
Ooo sweet lemonade, yes sweet lemonade!!
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(1 replies)
So God gave her an Immaculate Conception .... and Gabriel gave her a golden shower?
She was a kinky bitch for everyone except Joseph
I mean the guy travelled miles around with a pregnant wife just for a census, he was either a privacy geek or really subservient.
That part of the story is just confusing. The whole point of a sensus is to tell where you live now. Not where you hail from. Why he traipsed around Gallilea with a pregnant woman sounds more like a tax avoidance plot to me
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The immaculate part was that she was without sin.
Just learned that recently, but I grew up protestant, so that wasn't a thing for us.
Well, the catholic church at least says she was a virgin. When they canonized her, this is the interpretation they went with. My understanding is it's almost certainly a mistranslation, but it sounds more impressive so they went with it. The original meaning was a word that meant "unmarried woman" and had the implication they hadn't had sex (being unmarried) but it wasn't necessary.
To quote UNSONG Chapter 17: No Earthly Parents I Confess (https://unsongbook.com/chapter-18-no-earthly-parents-i-confess/ and yes it's chapter 17 despite the URL, and I'm sure there's something significant about that but I am unsure exactly what offhand, but everything in UNSONG is significant):
"Picture a maiden lost in the hills.
“Maiden” can mean either “young woman” or “virgin”. Its Greek and Hebrew equivalents have the same ambiguity, which is why some people think the person we call the Virgin Mary was actually supposed to be the Young Woman Mary – which might change the significance of her subsequent pregnancy a bit. People grew up faster, back in the days when they spoke of “maidens”. Mary was probably only fourteen when she gave birth.
I am a kabbalist. Words matter. Nowadays we have replaced “maiden” with “teenage girl”. A maiden and a teenager are the same thing, but their names drag different tracks through lexical space, stir up different waters. Synonymity aside, some young women are maidens and others are teenagers. The girl in our story was definitely a maiden, even though it was the 1970s and being a maiden was somewhat out of fashion."
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That's what I thought it referred to also, but the specific phrase has nothing to do with virginity. It isn't Jesus's conception it's talking about. It's that Mary was conceived without original sin.
My cousin almost got kicked out of catholic school, because when they were covering this, she asked if there was any reason to believe Joseph hadn't simply had a wet dream, and Mary rolled onto it.
Zeus did it first. Can't believe he's just a copycat.
I know the term, but that's not how people get pregnant!
One can try.
That's not how you get someone pregnant!
Is this a challenge to a breed-off?
More like a pissing contest
Na, I'm out then. I'm rather uncoordinated currently as I'm sick and drinking amounts of ginger tea nobody should drink.
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I would like to shower in God's golden shower
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The Christian god must be shy as fuck to send a local manager with the package...
Probably not a serious answer, but as a tangent, iirc St. Thomas Aquinas believed that angels were not actual beings or messengers and didn't posses a soul. They are direct extensions of god, as we would have arms and legs as extensions or apendages, angels are the "arms and legs" of god.
Edit: because some people have shown interest, the idea that angels at some point rebelled against god and Lucifer became their leader is from a 1667 poem called Paradise Lost by John Milton.
Its an amazing work of fiction that ties in to some already existing mythos at the time (like the hierarchy of angels, from cherubs to seraphim) but it has nothing to do with what's in religious texts, either Jewish, Christian or Muslim.
That makes the whole story of Lucifer being the rebellious angel moot. Tools do not rebel.
They don't. The Lucifer rebellion against god is from Paradise Lost by John Milton (1667) and is not mythology or in any texts. Pure fiction, pretty amazing at that, but definitely doesn't have the same origin as the angels.
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Maybe he's cheating us with other worlds and that was just his way of mass delivery
At least one of the gospels says that the Holy Spirit "comes upon" Mary and then she is pregnant. Gabriel was just the messenger that she would carry a child.
The story is different depending on which gospel you read
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What did I just read
it took me a while, but it's the nativity story. the angel gabriel knocks up mary and then asks if she came.
Gabriel didn't knock her up. The Holy Spirit came upon her (giggity). In other words, God himself/part of the trinity. Not a mere angel like Gabe or Mike.
Christianity is great--how many other religions were started when a wife cheated on her husband? And don't bring up Zeus because that shit was already in full swing when he started waving his dick(s) around.
IIRC, the titans before the olympians were just as much into infidelity and came from Gaea fucking Uranus (giggity).
I don't get it
Neither did Joseph
It's a joke about Mary becoming pregnant with Jesus. Although I'm not sure why Gabriel is the one doing it. At least one of the gospels says that the Holy Spirit "comes down upon" her to impregnate her and Gabriel was just the messenger who told Mary that she would carry a child.
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Wait now, does this motherfuckwr have 3 dads are you telling me?
Depending on which group you ask ... He is also his own father
Merry Christmas
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