My (ex) wife is a diagnosed psychoath. I was aware of her condition, we still married, but oh Lord did that bite me up the arse later... I'm glad she eventually broke up with me, because now I'm in a happy and healthy marriage with someone who actually cares about my feelings, who genuinely loves me and is a delight to be with 24/7.
this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2025
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I am deeply empathetic, but I pretty much experience zero embarrassment, regret, guilt, and very very little anger.
I experience a ton of sorrow though, and love, it feels like I love everyone. I know something is really weird with the way I experience emotions - I have wildly overactive empathy for emotions in others, but yeah, it's like I don't quite have a soul or something.
You have empathy, sorrow, & love, and then the fact you never feel embarrassment, regret, guilt, rarely anger, seems like a goddamn superpower. Strong & loving. And the fact that you even know what a soul is, seems to indicate you probably do have a soul. I once dated a narcissist sociopath and after a few years of knowing him I was talking about the soul and he went blank and he said he doesn't believe in souls. That was another indication I absolutely knew he was broken and incompatible with me.
I used to think that everybody had souls, I mean that's our personality, that's what gives us our uniqueness, but to think there are some lizard brain people with undeveloped prefrontal cortex, I think that is the thing that separates the evil people from the good people.
Erm, low self esteem is the main issue of narcissists. So, yes, they feel that too much.
(it's not that hard to know. Just read up on it in psychological literature. And yes I've been a victim once too and was very lucky to get out)
because victims of narcissistic sociopaths have a psychological need to demonize the people that hurt them in order to cope with the trauma.
it helps them believe they were infallible and were the only victim in the relationship when in reality they allowed themselves to become victims because they failed to see the glaring red flags along their journey.
if a person wanders into the forest known for bears and is attacked, do we blame the bear or the person? the person was warned. there were signs everywhere. there was bear shit everywhere. all the way up to when the bear stood on two feet, there were signs. yet the person continued on.
not attempting to victim blame here, just pointing out that the sociopath is a victim of their own actions. actions they likely cannot comprehend due to a lack of emotional acuity.
you are assuming they had knowledge of those red flags or warnings.
many people don't. most only learn about them through the experience.
it is easy to ID such people once you have had first hand experience with them, but nearly impossible if you haven't. and some folks never learn to see the red flags.
when in reality they allowed themselves to become victims because they failed to see the glaring red flags along their journey.
What a condescending and simply wrong way to look at it. The red flags aren't always that glaring. And manipulation is a thing, so it's much, much easier said than done to leave.
do we blame the bear or the person?
Yes, you are victim blaming here.
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