this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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grimdank

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[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Tzeentch's would make you shower thought yourself to paranoia

Nurgle's is laced with dog shit

Korne's is just cocaine rolled in a blunt shape

Slaanesh's would be an everything bluntel

Big E's at that point in his life would be a placebo and he'd then preach to you about your mind being your greatest weapon or some shit.

[–] Bgugi@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Chaos laced with LSD, krokodil, PCP, X.

Big E's is the crustiest brick weed you've ever seen.

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Its grim dark none of their shit is dank

[–] justOnePersistentKbinPlease@fedia.io 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I disagree. There is one.

The Tau absolutely have the dankest shit. It explains "the greater good" pretty well.

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 5 points 1 month ago

Oh damn you are right. The Tau got that shit that makes you convert your whole lifestyle to healing stones and togetherness. Nice.

[–] setsneedtofeed@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Know your dealers.

You go to Nurgle for- well don't go to Nurgle for drugs, Khorne for bath salts, Slaanesh for coke, Tzeentch for acid. You go to the Emperor for a lecture on how religion is false even though you didn't bring it up but now you're socially obligated to stay while he talks.

You go to Jurgen or rattling snipers for weed.

[–] TribblesBestFriend@startrek.website 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

In my city there’s a woman who drive around with « praise humanity, reject religion » duct taped to her car. When you talk with her she’s clearly selling some form of ~~facist~~ cult.

To this day I’m not sure if she’s alone in it, trying to start is own or in some sort of manic episode.

[–] jaennaet@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 month ago

trying to start is own or in some sort of manic episode.

These aren't necessarily exclusive

[–] _lilith@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

never got into the lore but I have seen 40k posts for years so here are my opinions based on osmosis:

  1. dude looks like a lovecraft monster probably see indescribable horrors if I smoke that

  2. I think that's Nergle? he's basically the mucinex guy so that thing is just filled with snot

  3. Don't know the red dude he looks like a gears of war fanboy though, probably tastes like monster energy drink

  4. Slaneesh? the one with the horny followers, its probably like viagra and molly

  5. I know that's the emperor but he's really just a skeleton thing right? I assume it would be rolled up mummy dust

Assuming I die from all of these I choose horny to death

[–] sober_monk@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

This is actually pretty spot on lol

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Obviously the green guy who looks like he, himself, would be fun to smoke.

[–] yumpsuit@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Emperor is clearly just handing you a breadstick. When you’re here, you’re family

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Slaanesh : I laced this weed with gas station boner pills.

And ~~schroom~~ Ork extract