this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2025
559 points (89.4% liked)

Programmer Humor

27489 readers
1306 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 9 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Unless you are making a HTML/CSS only site (based) what do you want to use instead?

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Invent a new internet where you can script pages directly in Python or TypeScript.

Otherwise, you get to enjoy a silly toy language from the 90's.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

I'm on, but no one is interested.

[–] FunkFactory@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

Kotlin/JS would be my first choice ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 13 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

If you care this much about JS being cringe I don't trust you to contribute good code to a project anyways

[–] moseschrute@lemmy.world 8 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

People on here really think the language determines the quality of the project lol

[–] moseschrute@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago

Genuinely curious, how many of you hating on JS have done professional frontend work recently? If you have done professional work, was it part/full time, using TypeScript, how big was your eng team, did you have to worry about Server Side Rendering?  Maybe some extra context will show certain types of projects yield devs that hate the language.

[–] melfie@lemy.lol 50 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I worked in heavy JavaScript codebases back in the IE days and wasn’t too crazy about it. Then JIT compilers like v8 came along and made it run a lot faster and TypeScript also made it more usable for larger codebases. I now consider TypeScript among my favorite languages. I’ve also written a lot of Go lately, and while I appreciate its speed and smaller memory footprint, the missing language features kind of grate on me and I don’t mind taking a bit of a performance hit for the (IMO) superior ergonomics of TypeScript, especially for workloads where I/O is more of the bottleneck than compute.

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

It's funny because I learned to program with strongly types languages and when I moved over to JavaScript I always complained about it for the longest time but now that I use mostly typescript at work I kind of miss some of the old JavaScript patterns and their flexibility. But for working with large teams or large projects in general it's nice to have typescript

[–] sip@programming.dev 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

agreed. typescript is excelent, especially if you make it strict and know a bit of complex types to make sure things stay put.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Chiming in as a professional TS dev. It's really a joy to do web dev work in the post TS world.

[–] biggeoff@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What do you think of JSDoc? As someone who knows neither I find the idea of no required transpilation very appealing, while still getting the TS ecosystem tools.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

JSDoc is much more cumbersome than using TypeScript. That's it. It clutters the code in a way that TypeScript somehow avoids. TS types are smoothly integrated in the code itself, IMO. Not as much the case with JSDoc.

[–] biggeoff@sh.itjust.works 4 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Thanks! As a hardware guy it'll be a long time before I do anything with this information. Nice to hear the opinions of actual Devs.

[–] moseschrute@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I suspect most Lemmy users hating on JS haven’t done much professional JS work. Especially these days with TypeScript and all the modern conveniences.

I’m curious, what kinda hardware do you work on?

[–] biggeoff@sh.itjust.works 1 points 16 hours ago

Digital hardware, mainly top-level design in verilog and associated checks using python/perl (sad)

Right now working on a GPU which is fun!

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Ah alright 🙂 My pleasure! Yeah I wouldn't even consider JSDoc if I had the choice of TypeScript. I even did some years of Advent Of Code in TypeScript. It's performant enough and simple to employ some kind of quasi functional programming style with it. I think it's great.

[–] moseschrute@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I think Rich Harris famously migrated Svelte from TypeScript to JSDoc, while still supporting TypeScript via JSDoc. I don’t use Svelte, so I have no idea how well this works in practice. However, Rick Harris seems smart to me, unlike other overly opinionated devs like DHH. I still wouldn’t use JSDoc over TS, but I guess if it works for your project, who cares. What matters is that we all remember the one true enemy, DHH

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 2 points 19 hours ago

I would actually love to hear the rationale behind migrating from TypeScript to JSDoc. Mind boggling to me.

Especially nowadays when there is promising work towards very fast, Rust-based TypeScript tooling, which web devs are in love with.

So yah, very interesting.

But yeah, DHH 🖕🖕

[–] iglou@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why is transpilation unappealing to you?

[–] biggeoff@sh.itjust.works 2 points 23 hours ago

Being honest, I'm an outsider looking in. Most likely these things are solved problems, but alternates are always interesting to hear insider opinions on.

Sounds like it's developer experience Vs required post processing in this case, which is a reasonable tradeoff to think about

[–] sip@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

i wish a more performing language would have this type system. the only other ones I know are Rust which is a bit strict and slow to dev on, and Haskell which is too much.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Fully agree.

I hear good things about OCaml? Anyone tried that?

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] sirico@feddit.uk 2 points 1 day ago

This meme should be rewritten in js

[–] calisti@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Written in PHP

[–] Redkey@programming.dev 57 points 2 days ago (1 children)

JS has saved me many hours of mind-numbing, error-prone manual keyboard work by giving me a way to hack together a simple bit of automation as a web page.

Even when a computer has been ham-fistedly locked-down by an overzealous IT department, I can almost always still access a text editor and a browser that will load local HTML files.

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 24 points 2 days ago

Add to that the beauty of bookmarklets.

It's silly that IT departments forces us to resort to techniques used before browser extensions became a thing, and it's ironic that it's because they don't know how to code, but here we are.

[–] menas@lemmy.wtf 19 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Javascript turn our computers into toasters

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] luciole@beehaw.org 98 points 2 days ago (19 children)

Real programmers are language agnostic. Anyways what's the project?

[–] kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone 104 points 2 days ago (2 children)

We're writing an online banking service entirely in brainfuck. Backend, frontend, even middleend if we have to

[–] Deebster@infosec.pub 64 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I enjoy the contradiction of middleend

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] arcterus@piefed.blahaj.zone 81 points 2 days ago

For something you're getting paid for, sure. But if you're contributing in your free time for fun or whatever, presumably you'd prefer to use a language you actually like.

[–] termaxima@slrpnk.net 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yes and no. "Real" programmers care about engineering choices ; and JS is the cardboard of programming languages.

Perfect for packaging (which in this metaphor is UI), horrible for building a bridge with. And vice-versa, I wouldn't try and make amazon packaging out of reinforced concrete.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (16 replies)

id say it could be worse it could be written in dhtml but that's pretty much better than js these days

[–] termaxima@slrpnk.net 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

JavaScript really depends on the people writing it restricting themselves to a sane (ish) subset, just like C++

My personal gripe with JavaScript is how horribly slow it is. C++ at least has the merit of being fast once compiled. I wouldn't feel great contributing to a JS project knowing fully well that a rewrite in a faster language would be 10x as effective as anything I could improve as is.

[–] moseschrute@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

That’s funny because I - having not written much C++ - have an irrational hate of the language. But I like JavaScript. I think I need to look at C++ through the same lens I look at JS through.

Imo you can write pretty performant websites in JS. I guess it depends what you’re doing, but e.g. if you pay attention to you’re rerenders in React, you’re gonna have a much better time.

But I also totally understand as soon as you wanna do some compex stuff, JavaScript is not a good time. I don’t think webassembly has worked as smoothly as promised, but in theory, that should let you bring some C++ into the browser.

[–] termaxima@slrpnk.net 2 points 17 hours ago

JavaScript is great for making websites !

[–] SethranKada@lemmy.ca 50 points 2 days ago (22 children)

Feels the same whenever a project is written in python, but I uninstall it too.

load more comments (22 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›