this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Mine got chopped off 9 years ago.

Well inverted and made into a vagina, but the former is how most people seem to think it works.

Do not miss the penis

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[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

You're supposed to pull the foreskin before pissing. Otherwise you're just asking for it.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Can't knock the solution, it does work

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

There is surgery that can help anon

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I swear I always get a cupful trapped in the hood every time I’m wearing light coloured trousers and then it escapes when I stand up.

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can't believe I have to say this.

Pull the foreskin back. Or sit/sqaut at a toilet and dry/dab with toilet paper.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

Sorry, dad.

[–] jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago

Pee sitting down?????

[–] Tetragrade@leminal.space 2 points 2 weeks ago

jelqd too hard

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

With great power comes great responsibility. The ability to control comes with the burden of having to exert that control

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 2 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe not take a piss with a morning boner could help

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

This sounds like a circumcised circumstance?

[–] dubyakay@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Nope.

I think it has more to do with sleeping on it or getting it squished in tight jeans prior, along with the urgency to not having enough time to test the waters.

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[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 1 points 2 weeks ago

Pull back your foreskin or sit down

[–] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Reasons I unironically want a FUD/STP device; Not that I've bothered to be pro-active about it. Even sitting to pee does not reign-in the dick's non-sense.

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