A self-own on par with loudly proclaiming women never get wet when aroused because it never happened to any women you've ever been with.
this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2025
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Surely nobody would ever say that.
True.
Well, not counting Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro did. He said that his doctor wife told him that they don't get wet lol
One of the all time classic self-owns
but my wife is a doctor and she agrees because she's never been wet!
You're not a pansexual until you've fucked a cast iron skillet
What if I just do it to treat my anemia but don’t enjoy it 🤔
i put a cast iron in the dishwasher what does that make me
A domestic abuser
"I beg to differ"
- Merle Highchurch
This unironically
That or an alien.
Learn what pan means dorks if you're not into being impregnated by the fruiting bodies of the Xlllirrreast you're a fake pan
Or if you are Japanese not until you have fucked a loaf of bread.
(Bread is pan in Japanese)
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Just be sure you don't wash it after you fuck it. Just a quick scrub with salt and a light coat of olive oil.
You’re not really bisexual unless you have sex with every woman and every man
This is inaccurate bisexual is when you've had sex twice
it's twice a year, or once every other year
No no, I have strong evidence to suggest that's called, "marriage"
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I think thats omnisexual
That would require enbies too. And maybe some other sapient beings that don't share our concept of sex and/or gender.
Let's please just all agree that it only includes beings that pass the harkness test
My new years resolution is to become a better bisexual.
oh so you're bisexual huh? name every man and every woman.
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So virgins are asexual?
I'm a dad, as far as I'm concerned anyone who hasn't reproduced sexually is asexual.
chad.jpg
you say you have sex you haven't reproduced? that's called a failsexual
Might as well have been imitating JD Vance and humping couches like a confused dog
Straight facts:
I am a straight man. Hello everyone. I hope you're all having a wonderful day.
Also a fact, I support all peoples choices in terms of what they like and how they identify. Not sure why I would care if someone else wants to be gay, bi, trans, hereto/cis, queer, lesbian, etc. I'm not those things, I'm not sure why it would bother anyone that someone else likes things? Whatever.
Also a fact from a straight guy, aka, straight fact.
While I can recognise that some masculine figures are handsome/good looking, I do not.... And I can't stress this enough.... I do not feel any attraction to men.
They can be rather good looking, but that doesn't make me want to get them naked and fool around.
If you have excitement in your pants for someone of the same gender, well.... I have news for you.... And there's nothing wrong with that.
Be who you are. Anybody who gives a shit is probably not worth knowing.
A term that I find useful is "~~platonic~~ aesthetic attraction".
It's a term that I learned through the ace community when I was going through the common bisexual experience of "am I bi though, or am I just asexual?". It turned out I was bi, but I find the split model of attraction is a useful framework.
~~Platonic~~ Aesthetic attraction is when you're able to see someone and go "now that is a beautiful man", but not experience any attraction in the conventional sense of the word. I personally find it useful because even though I do experience sexual or romantic attraction to people of all genders, that doesn't mean I experience that for everyone. Sometimes a beautiful person is just a beautiful person.
Edit: got mixed up, and said "Platonic attraction" when I meant "aesthetic attraction". Thanks to @gerryflap@feddit.nl for the correction
This reminds me a lot of love. People can't, or don't, by default, differentiate different forms of love, though, there are many.
If you express love for anyone that isn't blood related, the implication is that you want to copulate with them, and often, that's far from the truth.
I love a lot of people, but not in that way. Right now, the only person I love who I want to copulate with is my partner. At the same time, I have a large group of friends that I also love, as a kind of trust and friendship love, though they're not related to me through blood, in any way, shape, or form (Besides us both being human, I guess).
Commoners in society are extremely reductive, so the nuances of such things often escape them.
You can like, love or even find something attractive, and that doesn't define you. You define yourself. That's the privilege of sapience. We can decide such things about ourselves.
What you're describing is aesthetic attraction I think. Platonic attraction is more like advanced friendship afaik, more based on personality.
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I’ve always heard platonic attraction as a strong desire to form a deep platonic connection with a specific person. It’s wanting to be close with a person and form a deep bond, but no sexual or physical connection.
I think you’re just describing finding a person attractive vs being attracted to a person. I haven’t heard a term for it before.
For me it's not even that. I have zero clue about men being good lucking or not except for those who look similar to someone that has been described to me as good lucking or not.
With women I have "some" clue in general and then there's also some women that I personally find very attractive and others don't. But even the most beautiful women don't really give me any desire to do anything sexual with them unless they (or myself) first do something to make me think of it - so I might be closer to ace than actually straight.
i mean for me the sexiest feature is personality. no matter how fast you want to go, that generally reveals slower than say, flashing a titty.
Then again, taking your top off in public does reveal a lot about your personality.
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You will deal 10% more damage if you never sleep with anyone
Sexual frustration bonus
I thought I became a wizard. Why am I dealing damage if I'm a wizard? That's wasting good slots that could be used with save-or-lose spells.
Because Fireball
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And then the goalposts move to "Oh you have had sex with men and women? Well you're dating a woman now so clearly it was just a phase you're not actually bi"
Had the exact same conversation with my super Christian mom. In front of some siblings. It was amazing.
She was arguing that we need to stop normalizing LGBT stuff because anyone can swing both ways.
I told her straight people can't swing both ways, if you can then you're bisexual. She did not like this, so we all took a poll and she was the only bi person in the room.
She's less homophobic now lol
I think that's what happens a lot of time, and why there is a tiny truth to them saying things like "pride makes the kids gay". It does not, but it might teach some bi sexuals that it's okay to be just that, and not force yourself to forget about the other half.
You can have sex with the same sex without being gay. Look at the porno industry for example. It's all about attraction when it comes to sexual orientation.
The entirety of every male bro podcast compressed into a single comment
Just tell them "Oh, you think the bi means two so you have to be with two people. Common misunderstanding."
Sexuality is a spectrum. Straight/Gay doesn't mean no attraction to a particular sex, just that the attraction isn't significant. Not sure why he would think you need to have sex with both to qualify though.
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