this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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I was 11-12. I'm a she btw. I was having the worst day of my life in school and he protected me from bullies and scared them off. We became friends although we weren't in the same class since he was 15-16. After I returned to school I never saw him again and I never actually got his name. Because he was no longer there to protect me I started getting bullied again. YouTube recommended me a song last night, it's a 20 year old song and it was one he always listened to and sang. And I just got really teary eyed listening to it. Sometimes I miss him when I'm going through shit during the present day. Is this normal? Anyone else had similar experiences? I just hope wherever he is now he's okay

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[–] TaterTot@piefed.social 35 points 1 month ago

Very normal. Pretty much everyone I know collects these little holes in their heart from important connections that for one reason or another are no longer around. Just the way of things. Hurts when the wind blows through though.

But while it's very normal, it's good to remind yourself that all things are temporary, and that being able to form connections is a gift to be cherished. I'm glad you had someone to be there for you, and I hope things are going well for both of you.

Keep on keeping on.

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago

Do you have any old yearbooks? You might recognize him in there and at least be able to remember his name

[–] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Totally normal, just out of curiosity what was the song?

I had a guy whose name I did know help me out in a bad situation about 30 years ago. But about six months later, I moved across the country and never saw him again. I just recalled him to mind a few weeks ago and... I can't remember his name.

It felt kind of like a betrayal, I should have remembered, he was a huge help to me when a lot of people hung me out to dry. But such is the imperfection of meat memory. :(

[–] Talonflame@lemmy.cafe 1 points 1 month ago
[–] adespoton@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago

That’s normal. And for some reason it makes me think of Caught in the Crowd by Kate Miller-Heidke.

[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you really wanted to, you probably could track the guy down. Still have any old yearbooks? If not, the school probably keeps archival copies. You could go through old yearbooks of the appropriate age until you find the guy, then try to find him on Facebook or other social media. And asking through networks of friends and acquaintances could help in a similar way. Whether you want to or not is another matter, but 20 years ago isn't that long. It should be entirely possible to track this person down if you wanted to badly enough.

[–] Talonflame@lemmy.cafe 1 points 1 month ago

Unfortunately it was a really small school and it didn't give out yearbooks afaik

[–] Paragone@lemmy.world -4 points 1 month ago

IF you ask LivingSpirit ( whatever you call it: labels are irrelevant, attitude & relationship are the whole substance that matters : )

to bring them back into connecting with you,

AND you let-go, letting LivingSpirit do the work,

THEN you may, in future, find actual result of that.


Some people find that it works best when they write the request on paper, & after meditating/concentrating on it for .. say 1.5h .. then releasing it into flames, works best..

You have to let-go & trust, though: so long as you're torquing/dragging-around LivingSpirit, it can't do its work right, see?

_ /\ _