this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
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[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 53 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Swede here, if you want an Ikea worthy name for this, I can see two options.

  1. Franson - old word to call someone a frenchman, it is also a surname meaning "son of Frans", Frans is a name derived from the Latin name "Franciscus", meaning "frenchman".
  2. Dalman - the last executioner in Sweden was "Anders Gustaf Dalman", he is also the only Swedish executioner who used a guillotine in an execution.
[–] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 1 month ago

I would prefer something more like

HEDFÄLLA

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A good marketing angle would be to call it "KINDNESS"

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nope, Ikea uses Swedish names.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That is better, but I don't understand why you want to name an execution method "kindness" or "vänlighet"....

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Killing them with kindness is a common english phrase.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 month ago

Ah, it is a pun, I think a normal name is better though, then you can say something like:

Him? oh, he had a meeting with Franson, there are so many cutbacks these days.

Alright Mr. Trump, Mr. Dalman is here to see you.

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's Ikea so it would have a delightful name like Nögginflogger

[–] oftenawake@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] oftenawake@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

Neksknittå?

[–] andicraft@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago

nah it would be called HUVUDSAKLIG

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

the price seems a bit bourgeois

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Steel prices are through the roof with tariffs

[–] _AutumnMoon_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 1 points 1 month ago

We could take over a home depot. They have everything we need.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Surely it could be done with a plastic blade topped by a bit of stone for weight.

Sure, one might have to pull it back up and let it plunge back down a couple of times to finish the job, but that's alright.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 1 points 1 month ago

The piece of plastic that would work would cost more than the steel. Why not just drop a large rock on their heads. Clearly the guillotine wasn't gruesome enough to serve as a deterrent. Maybe that will be.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

4 out of 5 stars. I loved the real pine and I went with the antique finish which really complimented the blood of the nobility. Minus one star, though, as the neck hole was unable to close entirely on some obese (and unusually spray tanned) necks and required adjustment.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Three hundred dollars?! 😩

Maybe we can pool our resources? Everyone, empty their pockets and lets see what we got!

I have $0.89, a paperclip, a receipt for a doughnut and some lint.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 3 points 1 month ago

I got a crazy idea on how we can get a refund after we build it.

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Lint and a train ticket here.

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's made of compressed sawdust and honeycomb newspaper, with a pleasant plastic veneer that holds everything together. The screws are all very soft and strip out easily, the ones with Philips heads are actually Pozidriv but they never include a Pozidriv driver so those will strip too. The blade is some chickenshit low-end material made from recycled soup cans that bends and flexes all the time, the edge is barely honed.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So we get like what? 3 beheadings before it breaks? Still worth it for a HOA board

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

If you do get a good model, IKEA will discontinue it.

[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

The newspaper is The Wall Street Journal and all the allegedly recycled content is virgin, just the lowest grade possible.

[–] Hayduke@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

That design does lend itself well for flat-pack. Needs a collapsible basket, though.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Is this the new hedröll fitment?

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Unfortunately, pen pushers and local organizers create and maintain democracy, not executioners.

Even if we root out all of the fascists, if we don't change anything then they will return next year.

[–] tinyvoltron@discuss.online 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Anybody got an STL so I can just print one? I'll use wood filament for authenticity.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 month ago

The blade weighs about 40kg, you'll need some sort of filler

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 3 points 1 month ago
[–] WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

Wait, you mean going outside with a pithy sign on a Saturday isn't enough?

[–] commiunism@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Yeah, we'll fix our ((democracy)) by killing all the ((bad people))

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago

It worked in France!

Er... Wait...

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 3 points 1 month ago

Yeah, we'll fix our ((democracy)) by killing all the ~~((bad people))~~ ((Rich people))

FTFY.

[–] Djehngo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Instructions unclear, use of the kit somehow wound up with a military dictatorship and an imperial empire?

[–] commiunism@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 1 month ago

That's fine, just replace the words in parentheses with something wholesome until problem solves itself, or everyone is dead

[–] zjti8eit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago

what's with the parenthesis? Are you a nazi?

[–] StopSpazzing@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

No thanks. Wood chipper is the 21st century model and imagine the show and noise!

[–] charonn0@startrek.website 1 points 1 month ago

Ask Robespierre how that works out.