this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2025
106 points (98.2% liked)

Not The Onion

17243 readers
647 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 8 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Gaylactus@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

If anyone is trying Grok, they are twats.

[–] NeedyPlatter@lemmy.ca 50 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Everyday I'm more convinced that this timeline is a very shitty parody of some sort

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I can clear that up for you. We are in the absolute worst sort of very shitty parody. Those of us in the US who are sane deserve an Airplane!-caliber parody, and instead we’ve been given Fatal Instinct.

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Hell I'd take Hot Shots or Top Secret!

[–] ijedi1234@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you consider how the Xeelee Sequence views time travel, you could be right.

Suppose the possibility that time travelers come back in time to change the past, but their enemies can do the same thing. If opposing factions decide to fight in a particular theater of war, their actions will eventually result in a polished, stabilized timeline. It is possible that none of the factions could get what they original wanted from the engagement, but all the countermeasures the factions put in during the battle will prevent any further notable change.

Therefore, we are in a world where anyone who tried to change our present time to what they want most likely didn't succeed. Hence, a shitty parody of the original timeline.

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 4 points 2 days ago

Or, to get the world to do something about the major issues affecting the future they needed to convince enough people that change is required by setting up this absolute shit show, so once it gets bad enough we will have some kind of reckoning and then a new age of enlightenment. The only question is, how much of a shit show will we see before the reckoning and will we be able to recover ..

[–] MantisToboggon@lazysoci.al 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

maybe it's more aware than I thought.

[–] PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au 8 points 2 days ago

Supplies cannot meet the rising demands.