I love steamed clams!
this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2025
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When Paltrow was selling those candles that smelled like her vagina, I bought one. It smelled like ass. Turns out I had it upside down.
I would like one of these but like for my cock
Okay....
So I bought a handheld garment steamer for knitting projects and for steaming wrinkles out of clothes from storage or whatever. I, like most people, had been hearing about vaginal steaming for some time with mixed bafflement and curiosity. One brisk November night alone in my apartment, I was eyeing the device and I figured, whats the harm, why not give it a try?
So I fill the steamer with water from the tap and set it on the floor and take a seat in my swivel chair a safe distance in front of it, disrobed from the waist down. The steamer heats up slowly, and I slide forward a bit as the seductive white vapor emerges with increasing force. After five minutes of carefully steaming my dick, balls and ass with an increasing look of delight on my face, I'm a convert.
If you ever have that kind of week where they're feeling sticky or sweaty, you've got aching, vaguely itchy balls or it's all just lacking that certain je ne sais quoi, and a shower doesn't help, the steam does something amazing to open the pores, make all the assorted skin and sinew of one's nether regions toned and glowing and you sweat away all the soap and sweat residue and whatnot in a way that showering or bathing could never approach. It's shocking, I can't fully explain how renewing it is, or why, but it works, almost on a spiritual level. I've never mentioned this to another soul and doubt I ever will.
I'm actually filling up the steamer now despite the heat as it's been a few months since my last foray into pelvic steaming and I yearn for that soothing, forbidden relaxation. I will sleep like a baby tonight.
Oh, and do it away from electronics, I bricked a desktop by getting too much second-hand steam in it one day.
This kills the sperm.
(No, seriously, heat does that)
Meh, I'll make more later
dudes over here steaming his frank and beans and doesn't care if he's poaching the next Ted Cruz.
It's been six hours, I still am in awe at the sublime comfort fogging my junk provides, this wonderful feeling will last days.
Not to diminish the joy of paying to raise a child but I miss my foreskin more than the trillions of gametes in the preceding decades that similarly to today's batch, didn't make it.
Also, importantly, I am not an accredited pelvic steaming technician. If you try this and get a 3rd degree burn on your taint, well... that's on you, chief.
Incentive
just tape a garden hose to your dick?
Watching the conservatives in America get their panties in a bunch over this cartoon was sickening and hilarious
I forget the name of this cartoon, what is it? I got a kick out of it when I heard about it a few years ago
John Dillermand
I know men must look at this and think "wtf is a vaginal spa?", but I would like to say that as a woman I don't know wtf it is either
As a fellow woman I have no idea either. I just feel like Gwyneth Paltrow is involved SOMEHOW by default.
If she was involved there would be a tube attached with a gas mask on the other end.
My first thought is that its a fancy dueche, so yeah Gwyneth Paltrow seems right.
What kind of drug do you think she takes to be so obsessed with her vagina?
Puritanical upbringing that lost out to crunchy granola feminism, but in the way where she learned absolutely nothing from either.
Testosterone?
I gotta say, I'd be pretty obsessed with mine too if I were a woman. I don't like her or approve of the dumb and often disturbing shit she does, but I can't fault her for that specific thing.
There is a time and a place to play with your gigi.
You're so lucky to be able to have yours be portable. 😞 The only penile spas I've ever seen are permanently installed in a wall. No clue how they work either.
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never used
box looks more beat up than a fed ex delivery
Riiiiight.
It wasn’t actually Hemingway. Versions of the story can be found from 1906 when Hemingway was 7, and there is apparently no mention of a connection between him and the story before the 1990s.
Him and what story? Anyone interested in elucidating?
For sale: baby shoes, never worn
It's a famous "six-word story" that is usually attributed to Ernest Hemingway. This meme's framing is a reference/parody of it.
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