this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] PineRune@lemmy.world 96 points 2 years ago (2 children)

One can be folded into oragami. The other can be shot from a slingshot. I am truly enlightened.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 2 years ago

oh shit BOTH is the answer

[–] TheWordBotcher@lemmy.world 31 points 2 years ago

I don't think either of these would be very fun for the woman they're attached to...

[–] mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub 82 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Damn. I always felt bad enough for women with big boobs having to deal with the back pain, but I never considered that they might jingle, too.

[–] lauha@lemmy.one 49 points 2 years ago

Not all big breasted women suffer from backpains.

Jingling is really annoying though.

[–] B312@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] JadeEast@sh.itjust.works 47 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Bills won't weigh you down when you're hiking or make your pocket sag if they're there a long time.

[–] m0darn@lemmy.ca 32 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Can't use 100's in a lot of places.

[–] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 33 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Can't use coins in a lot of places as well.

[–] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 44 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah, the strippers hate it when I start chucking quarters.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

In some cultures, making it hail is seen as a dick move.

[–] arin@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

That's a matter of the places you're going into....

[–] Podunk@lemmy.world 44 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The premise is based, but fuck me, the message is actually a good life lesson.

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[–] Dampyr@lemmy.world 35 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I've got a question for you. What's heavier, a kiogram of coins or a kilogram of bills? That's right a kilogram of coins, because coins are heavier than bills

[–] Trail@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Is this supposed to be a joke or a parody of something?

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 25 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] Trail@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 1 points 2 years ago

Trail was enlightened

[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 30 points 2 years ago (3 children)

the coins because you could also throw them at people

[–] burgeoning@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

The Dollars are light and graciously accepted by the cashier, but do not gratify the hand in its heft and presence. The coins are heavy, and bestows immediate gratification to the weighing extremities; nonetheless the cashier will be enraged at the prospect of counting the cost.

Read that again.

[–] DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Dollar coins are just as inconvenient as the rest of them. I guess 50c is the worst with its sharp corners.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Mostly because they're really big compared to other coins.

[–] Banichan@dormi.zone 9 points 2 years ago

Always a psycho/socio in the comments 😂

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Happy cake day, gentleperson.

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago

No judgement here.

[–] Grayox@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 years ago

Never thought id see a koan in green text.

[–] ThunderChunk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Heavier boobs hold more value...I do like big heavy boobs...

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Are you an owner or a renter?

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I've stolen some, traded some, and now I'm left with one small boob and one big boob in a freezer, what do

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 years ago

Nature's stress ball.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

As do I, but I can also see the hate they get. One of my partners ended up getting a reduction from like DDD to B and she's much happier and is better physically for it. My wife kept her DD and they're great too.

As I've gotten older, I've come to terms that big tiddies and small tiddies are both still tiddies, and tiddies are fun to play with no matter the size.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I can rest a bag of coins on my face and reach nirvana, while resting a single bill on my face is pointless.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I wonder if there is any evolutionary advantage to larger breasts. AFAIK, there's no difference in their ability to deliver milk to babies. And smaller breasts probably have an advantage in a woman's movement and agility, not to mention avoiding back pain. Humans also seem to be the only animal that has larger breasts than necessary -- OTOH, humans are also the only mammal that walks upright, so there are other biological differences.

If it's the case that the only evolutionary reason for large breasts is to better attract (some) men, that would be interesting.

[–] Piemanding@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Milk cows have larger breasts than necessary, but that's from artificial breeding rather than any sort of evolution or adaptation.

[–] Gladaed@feddit.org 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Their larger breasts are necessary since they require a high milk output to reproduce effectively (due to selective pressure of breeding)

Just because the pressure is not "natural" doesn't mean its not real.

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[–] vividspecter@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If it’s the case that the only evolutionary reason for large breasts is to better attract (some) men, that would be interesting.

It's not like large breasts are more common than not large (unless you mean anything larger than nothing at all). I suspect there was a random mutation, and it didn't hurt their reproduction chances but it didn't help either. So you end up with a variety of breast sizes.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

For some reason, only one ape species ever has non-small breasts. You never get large breasted gorillas, chimpanzees or bonobos even though they share 98% of their DNA with us. What is it about humans that means that that trait was evolutionarily advantageous? It's obviously a feature with significant disadvantages, so what is the advantage that offsets that for humans in a way that it doesn't for other great apes?

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Do gorillas, chimpanzees, or Bonobos mate face-to-face, or doggy style?

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

For bonobos, a whole variety of ways and very frequently.