this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2025
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transcription: holy shit please stop talking about how you want an ancient elf of vampire girlfriend, you cant even pull women your own age, what on earth makes you think you could impress someone whos lived for centuries?

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[–] megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 86 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Maybe, they’ll think I’m a cute pet :3

[–] erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zone 56 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

you would like that wouldn't you~

[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 2 weeks ago

👉👈🥺

[–] megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 2 weeks ago

Of course not, absurd accusations

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 2 weeks ago

pukes on the nice rug again

[–] magic_smoke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 2 weeks ago

What are you talkin' about? I'm a women and I pull on myself regularly?

It's not the getting of women that's the problem. It's that due to circumstances and bad habits/poor boundary policing, I almost always end up supporting them. A relationship with an ancient, ageless creature seems like it has the chance to be them supporting me and I'd like to experience that. I think it would be a nice break. Plus I'm not that expensive either.

[–] twice_hatch@midwest.social 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm hoping she's a narcissist with a fragile ego who can't stand her own kind and has repeated failed relationships with humans as a predatory thing

you think too highly of yourself

🍩 very salty detected

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago

Maybe they want someone who is very sour and constantly depressed. You never know.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 weeks ago

Hahaaa, I mostly dated women older than me, means I still have a shot!

[–] jbk@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 week ago

ohh my godddd reallllllllll

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago

by being quirky and spontaneous

[–] Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

;(

no need to be - dis mean...

yis i kno ive got lil chances at all - yis i see it n im nt buildin up any hop - congrats - bt lik -

... dis is... - i didn expect u to go dis far.

[–] ColdSideOfYourPillow@piefed.social 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't take it to heart! It's only meant to be some rude humor. It isn't serious, nor is it directed at anyone.

[–] Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

i kno it isnt serious...... bt - it... it kindsa does look like it u kno?....

i made reaction post to dis post jus now - mayb have look <3

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

hell yeah, thank u smorty <3

[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 week ago

I'm 46 years old. I've been on the Internet for a long time. You've seen one dick pic, you've seen 'em all. I could start a meticulous catalogue for comparative purposes. But I will not. For I am kind.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

We hadn't figured out how to (eep heat and pressure hot enough for fusion

Much less in a dumpster.

I can absolutely impress her.

[–] Zyratoxx@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

Whadcha talkin' about, I've pulled a lot of women in my life... In Genshin Impact

laura hollis manifested a vampire girlfriend and look what happened