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Thank you, @otter@lemmy.ca, for showing a perfect example of what a post should look like.
I award you with the highest medal I can bestow:
Thank you so much for this medal, I will cherish it π
Not sure if you have seen this person religiously commenting better quality versions of comics and pictures on other people's posts, this is extremely high praise!
You've gained a medal from a Lemmy staple
So why are mothers expected to just figure things out on their own? We humans have women living way past fertile age because they were important for children, and suddenly we decided we don't need grandma's help passing along generational knowledge and helping first time mothers. Grandma/Grandpa are supposed to be free and focus on helping the parents so they learn and don't make mistakes because they don't know anything.
And community too. It's so isolated. Makes me sad, and afraid to have children.
Let's be real, the whole "only mom and dad are supposed to FAFO on their own" is an extremely stupid societal expectation. Humans were never meant to live as isolated animals, always in groups
I know right. I don't see why countries promote this kinda individualism and expect people to have children.
Some things you really do just have to learn by experience, but there is no reason to withhold knowledge that can help someone be better or do something easier.
YouTube has converted "sharing knowledge" to "monetization", so no one helps unless they're getting something back for it.
This is super tangential, but I knew someone who had a miscarriage which caused a mental health crisis. Or perhaps more accurately, the crisis was caused by severe isolation and implicit stigma around her grief. She told me that after the crisis, she was surrounded by people who had experienced miscarriages too. She was baffled because this sure would have been helpful before the mental breakdown.
People are expected to be so strong that ultimately it just weakens us at the community and the individual level
In the Netherlands, "kraamverzorgenden" come by the house of new parents every day for ~the first week to show you the ropes, and just in general to help with chores and/or entertaining brothers and/or sisters.
In my experience, it's not so much everyone needs to figure it out for themselves. It is filtering through invalid opinions and non-applicable information.
It's the same reason it is so hard being a doctor, "Oh, your baby is crying? Here's a few thousand things it could be, and tomorrow, it will probably be a different reason."
Unless they've been using the same sippy cups for decades, I don't think grandma would've helped with this.
While I don't disagree, (personally, I'm not about it but people should be able to plug in to a local community for common advice of mundane things) parents also just...learned things themselves. And sometimes it wasn't correct. I've spoken to my sister-in-law who told me about all the unsolicited advice she's gotten about motherhood. And how much of it was basically superstition, not medical advice.
When youβre planning on having kids, or pregnant, your health care providers will recommend you take some parenting classes. Thereβs ways to learn, donβt let your parents not being there for you stop you. You will also likely get recommended to get a doula and midwife.
As much as I love my independence, I can't help but look at society and think that things have gone very wrong at some point.
My brother had a kid and I always feel like some out of touch old man when we talk about it. Once he told me todlers can only have distilled water and I had to stop myself from going "Back in my day, my parents gave me tap water and I turned out fine!"
I thought distilled water was bad for humans to consume as it leeches nutrients from you?
That'd be deionized water, I think...
Nope, distilled water has nothing, no minerals or anything else, including ions. Deionized water is also not the best for consumption.
What. That can't be true. Maybe there's some advantage, like less fluoride etc. But it's not true they can't drink rap water...
Maybe they live in Flint Michigan π€·ββοΈ
Well, sure, not all tap water is potable for adults either. But giving special water to toddlers sounds like overzealous parenting. I rather give tap water, which is totally safe here, than water from a plastic bottle.
Babies, babies can't have tap water.
~6 months you start with cooled boiled water.
~12 months you can move onto tap water.
todlers can only have distilled water
Iβm pretty sure thatβs unhealthy (lack of minerals)
All I've learned from this tread is that people have some very strange beliefs...
Maybe talk to your DR instead of trusting what people say online.
But I listened to 90 seconds of a podcast from my favorite fitness influencer, so basically I have an MD now, right?
I read the cat mommy's voice in Princess Caroline's voice.
A side-effect of capitalism is the destruction of community. Back in the day when nuclear families weren't the only kind of family possible, first-time parents leart all of this from their in-laws. But now they need to take parenting classes.
I'm from semi-rural India, and it worked that way when I was a kid, but things are starting to change there as well.
first-time parents leart all of this from their in-laws.
And so much of that was dangerous bullshit, it's unbelievable. So many children died because of that.
