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It's something I've seen thrown at women a fair bit. Feminazi, stripping men's rights, feminism has gone too far blah blah. Has anyone ever accused you of it? And any women said this to you?
I got asked if I was a "raging feminist" because I have body hair. I didn't even know how to respond
Is that the criteria? Well judging by my legs this morning, I'm a raging feminist.
I generally respond with "how many generations has your family been inbreeding again?"
I got accused of that once for simply saying I didn't feel welcome on Lemmy as a woman.
Actually, that's putting it lightly. What they said was a multi paragraph tirade attempting to trigger every trauma I had or might have explicitly because they thought "unwelcome" was still too welcome and, again explicitly stated by them, they thought women should suffer.
To be fair, they were downvoted to hell then banned for what they said, but in the same thread somebody accused me of being too extreme because I said I support job fairs for women, and they were very much the opposite of downvoted.
It seems to mostly be isolated to online spaces though. I bring up these "extremist" feminist topics IRL and people act like it was so obvious I didn't even need to say it, even men.
That kind of attitude is so common here, unfortunately. "Nerd" and tech cultures are rampantly misogynistic, but they all seem in denial about it, including on lemmy
Oh they're definitely not in denial if you're talking to someone who actually works in them professionally...as usual it's the snotty cohort of the fans
"but where are the men's job fairs, huh? Typical woman, wanting more rights than men and getting more support."
It's so draining to reclaim my own space in a man's world some days.
Yep the manosphere really doesn't want us to have any help or support, or even verbalise that we'd like that
Are we prepared to talk about the subtle (or sometimes unsubtle) misogynist (plus intersections of transphobia, homophobia, and racism) streak on the Fediverse? I've gotten the weirdest pushback for relatively mild takes with such frequency I've come to expect it. I am not afraid to block anyone who is being a prick, but if anything I post gets a modicum of attention I have to avoid my inbox like the plague or be sealioned to death. I don't remember it being this bad on reddit (but I think communities self-sorted better with a larger userbase).
Yep we face it all the time in our group, we get the manosphere making nasty and/or anti trans remarks or passive aggressive trolling. That's why posts like this have to be flagged as women only so they've got no excuse. We're ruthless with the ban button though so its manageable.
It's really sad cos we've had so many incredibly supportive men cheering for or quietly upvoting us. I don't remember reddit being this bad but I think you're right, they stuck to their own areas.
I think one reason it's worse than on reddit is because posts are more often visible on "all". On reddit posts on small subreddits mostly got read by the people who looked for them. Here with much fewer posts and communities posts often reach "everyone".
Ayup. The only reason they didn't come for us on reddit was because they didn't see us.
This is not a fediverse problem, it's an arsehole problem
That's a really good point. More attention, more problems
You might try checking if those guys are based on thecsame (cluster of) server(s).
Also the downvotes. I haven't yet seen any other topic that so consistently gets a few downvotes across every community. And by topic, I don't necessarily mean "feminism" or something controversial, it's more like explicitly mentioning women is enough. See also this community.
It's only ever a handful and it's less subtle than comments or messages, but it doesn't really create a welcoming atmosphere. Especially since downvotes are otherwise used quite sparingly in Lemmy on the whole (with some exceptions of course).
I've been getting that too, but I don't think it's misogyny so much as contrarianism. It seems like any opinion has it's detractors around here, this post included. XD
Man, when i was a kid you had to go to a pub to pick a fight with someone, not just pick up a keyboard
I've been accused of this a fair bit. I couldn't tell you how often I've talked about women's issues to be told "but what about men... you're being reverse exist etc". I've lost count of how many men have said about "men's rights" when it's not a pie, more for us don't mean less for them. It's particularly nasty online, breathe a word about feminism and you can be attacked HARD.
I've had comments from women but far less so. I've been accused of thinking all men are bad when ones behaviour was creeping me out (turned out I was right). Sadly I've worked with a woman in the domestic abuse field who put the perpetrator first. She'd excuse and defend him, and was always talking about how hard life was for men and what "man hating feminists" had done to them. Unsurprisingly she was in an abusive relationship.
It seems feminism is a dirty word to a lot of people which is sad
What I have started doing is comparing, every time someone I know disparages a woman driver or someone in the workplace. I bring up all the men we know who have done the same thing or worse. I am hoping that by constantly putting the spotlight on how women are treated and talked about differently something will eventually click. It seems that women have been the automatic punchline for too many jokes for too long.
Edit: It’s frustrating because each time we know many more men who are terrible drivers, act very illogically/emotionally. But point this out and it’s always excuses “oh, well (the man) drives more that’s why he’s had more accidents, there are more opportunities” never mind the fact that he has a history of being reckless/not-paying attention and is usually the one at fault. But when a woman driver is rear ended, it’s always “oh, hehe women drivers”.
That's a really clever idea! In the UK young mens car insurance is waaayyy high because they're most likely to have mishaps. Not women!
It’s the same in the US. My brother likes to use the opportunity excuse, trying to claim that men drive more than women. But I swear it’s like all their heads are stuck 80 years in the past. Most of the arguments are “men have to go to work, so they drive more”.
Well they are right. We women spend our times childbearing, doing chores and sewing. We absolutely never work EVER.
Obviously. 🙄 Not to mention I think most full time moms I know drive more than their husbands, running errands and kids everywhere.
No that is a lie it is the big strong men that do that. Our arms are too puny to reach the steering wheel and anyway raising kids and errands are easy so beneath men
Back before my egg cracked, or my brain formed, the early teenage "lad" that was me may or may not have been part of the issue.
Sorry sisters, least I got better :/
We all make mistakes, the best we can do is learn and grow from them. Sounds like you are doing better ♥️
I’ve not had that sort of garbage hurled at me, but have often experienced men irl lamenting about how women want special treatment, at the expense of men. Their logic is so tired, and exhausting. It’s this zero sum game, and they are somehow always receiving the short end of the stick, even though they enjoy all of the privilege and benefit of the patriarchy. They equivocate the fight for women to have the same treatment and rights as them to them being villainized or otherwise put down. These types of men, especially the cishet white guys, cannot look at themselves and recognize that the world as we know it is designed for them to have every opportunity, at the expense of everyone else. Me getting a promotion, or other women being given the chance to show that they are just as capable as men is somehow misandry. Remember, DEI bad; misogyny acceptable. It gets so old, so fast. And when I point out to them that their logic is problematic, they roll their eyes and talk about how unfairly men are treated.
It’s almost as if these toddlers masquerading as grown adult men, expect to be given things by default due to who they are. 🙄
You're bang on the money, they think losing their privilege is the same as losing their rights. And toddlers masquerading as men is right!
honestly sounds similar to the way the Christian right responds to something like the gay rights movement - every advancement of gay rights is perceived as an infringement on their religious freedom somehow.
So as someone who thinks they're real funny, that's a tad bid misandrist innit? /s
Not sure if I do actually belong here or not but I hate how misogynistic some people are when they don't think about it. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to be around them.
I have however heard some things that I would consider a bit extreme like making femicide recieve worse punishments than regular homicide.
Plus claiming women pose as much of a murder risk to men. When a quick search online shows few adult women murder adult men compared to vice versa
Oh yeah, on Reddit I got called a feminazi or similar on the regular. Ironically it was usually in response to the most tepid of takes, while the actual radical stuff didn't get anything ... I guess they didn't like the idea that someone might put up a fight?
Meanwhile, my sister in law said to my wife recently that DEI has gone too far ... she's a well paid executive, who if it weren't for DEI would never have got her job. My other half has been trying to gently steer her back to sanity.
That used to be me. I very nearly fell down the blackpill incel hole, long before those were terms, back when friendzone memes were all the rage. Two things really stopped that--one was that I was self aware and recognized it was a me problem, not a world problem, and the second was more or less a friend turning me into a brony (it was new at the time and was positivity that I really needed). In the end, learning to think critically and not feast on a diet of easy hate is the reason I'm not a complete dumpster fire excuse for a human being. Hate and anger are junk food for the mind, and while there's nothing wrong with hating something or being angry, it's easy to let them rule you and turn you into an angry, hateful person.
I feel the same thing about combatting bigotry in all forms