this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Remove boogeyman from under the bed. That will automatically remove the need for the cross.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 178 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Maybe remove the dead guy from the wall.

[–] gdog05@lemmy.world 70 points 4 days ago

Yes, it's obviously the ancient death cult symbol that stifles humanity and individuality that would make that room feel claustrophobic.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 38 points 4 days ago (2 children)

You have to let him into your heart or he's going to torture you for all eternity.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

No he's not, he's lazy AF. All he did was sacrifice his weekend for all of humanity. Do you really think he's going to haunt anyone, when that's all he could spare for humankind?

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Only thing in my heart is excess cholesterol.

Don't inject tren directly into your heart then, nerd

[–] A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl 3 points 2 days ago
[–] And009@lemmynsfw.com 17 points 3 days ago
[–] fenpy@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

You need to remove walls. Next time she'll be comfortable!

[–] Takapapatapaka@lemmy.world 38 points 4 days ago (3 children)

This stool clearly has too many legs. It's way more fun with only 2!

[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 47 points 4 days ago (1 children)

2! = 2

You win this time..

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Spaces are important! That would be 2 ≠ 2, as opposed to 2! = 2 (or (1*2) = 2).

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 5 points 3 days ago

What if that was the joke?

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 days ago

...Shit, Idk

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 14 points 4 days ago

I only have 2 legs and I'm doing fine

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You can't sit for long on a stool with only two legs; I think it just becomes a stool sample at that point.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Unless you flip it over, then it doubles the seating capacity AND makes it more stable.

[–] TheBannedLemming@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I recommend purging the vengeful ghost or whatever evil spirit is haunting that place and getting out of whatever rural or abandoned town that building is located in. It's likely in the upper northeast or midwest and would be the kind of place that Stephen King would set his next novel in.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 28 points 4 days ago (4 children)

The cross. Religious mythology is not useful to society.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago

Mythology isn't a problem. The issue is convincing huge swaths of a population to believe mythology is true.

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 3 points 3 days ago

I don't know, viking gods are kinda cool

idk, combined with the gloomy atmosphere, it seems like its the only thing keeping OOP safe from a demonic spirit that was summoned during a sleepover using a death ritual

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (7 children)

How would we get to Heaven without religion?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 22 points 4 days ago

F-18 Hornets.

[–] sylver_dragon@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will accept you for your virtue. If the gods are unjust, then they weren't worth worshiping anyway. And if there are no gods, then at least you lived a good life to be remembered by .

The first step is dying I think

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Be a good person? I don't need religion to live a productive life.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

I agree, I was just wondering how to get to Heaven, but others have pointed out F-18s, a new Tower of Babel, etc...so I think we're set.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If we remake the tower of babel with modern construction techniques I don't think god could destroy it as easily.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Fair. And maybe you could put the F-18 runway at the top.

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 days ago

There's a stairway you can buy. Pretty simple really

[–] fnrir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 days ago

1 - Your question presupposes abrahamic faith.

How will we achieve moksha without Hinduism?

How will we achieve nirvana without Buddhism?

2 - dependency on is due to our fear of death / the unknown combining with religion

We don't know what and if anything happens after death because it is untestable by us for obvious reasons, but some religions still postulate an answer for reasons.

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 26 points 4 days ago

If your junk is making people uncomfortable, you should probably pull up your pants and close the zipper.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 14 points 4 days ago

The window. Get rid of it.

[–] stefenauris@pawb.social 13 points 4 days ago

Remove the friend

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Throw out the bed, the stool, and the crucifix. Sleep on the bare floor, ideally naked. Peak minimalism achieved.

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

Ark survival evolve gameplay

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

When I were a lad we didn't sleep on floors, but would balance on the floorboards themselves

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Floorboards are unneccessary junk, rip them off and have a dirt floor instead.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Dirt is unnecessarily soft, better to dig down through the organic matter to the subsoil, and lie on that instead

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Actually, dig all way to bedrock, after all, it isn't called bedrock for no reason.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 2 points 2 days ago

Too smooth for my sensibilities, I'd prefer to go down to the metal outer shell

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago

It's the largest thing in the room anyways. Imagine how much space that bedroom could habe without an useless bed!

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Take all the Busch light cans out, yes the ones under the bed

[–] scholar@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

But they're propping up the mattress!

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

Tell her she can come out from under the bed.

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