After a lot of research I’ve decided to hollow out an asteroid and build a habitat inside instead of wanting to move to Mars.
this post was submitted on 30 May 2025
298 points (99.3% liked)
The Onion
7387 readers
50 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
Probably safer and might be easier.
It would be. Dust (Mars and the Moon) is a huge problem that we might struggle with for a long time. Any form of terraforming, well...we're very good at accidentally doing that, but a purposeful change towards a goal of making it nearer to Earth-like, that's a complex thing. And there is the Red/Green Mars argument to have if we ever did.
What would be even easier is to just bring materials to a spot and build lots of huge habitats. We've had blueprints that are still reasonably valid since the 70s and even before, it's just getting the small percentage of materials we can't find out there already into space that's difficult. The plus over a natural body is that you don't retrap yourself in a new gravity well to fight, and you can locate anywhere with whatever environment you can maintain. The plus over the captured asteroid is you know what you have from the beginning since you're build it, and you don't have to use a lot of effort to capture it, derotate it, mine it without ruining its ability to hold atmosphere.
My opinion is that we still could do this type of thing technically, but the window has shut on the will to try. We can't even stop damaging this planet.
The Red/Green Mars argument?
It's a big part of the plot and motivation of the main characters in Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars trilogy (Red Mars/Green Mars/Blue Mars). Basically, should we leave Mars (or any planet) as it is naturally, especially if we find life already there even at only microscopic levels? Or should we spread our own version of life from Earth (us along with other creatures and plants) and terraform where we can to maximize our own survival?
My plan is to use giant mirrors and sunlight.
space is so terrible that in order to be a better option than Earth, one calamity won't do. An Earth with climate change and nuclear war and, like, zombies and werewolves is still a way better place than Mars.
From A City On Mars by Kelly and Zach Weinersmith
There's really people out there called Weinersmith, huh?
Formerly known as Zach Weiner and Kelly Smith. They compounded their last names when they got married.
A family of blacksmiths from Wien, what's odd about that?
I hope there aren't any solar flares happening on the many-month voyage there to inundate your ship(s), either.
Say what you will about Mars, but the expected survival outcomes are guaranteed.
Earth's still up in the air.
Silly geese, it’s the X-Sperm that’ll do the colonizing.
Dancing Bear Mars window cleaning service
That's why I prefer fusion power research to spacetravel
Holy shit.