I filled out a PHQ-9 on my phone a little too honestly yesterday and got a call early this morning from a concerned nurse working in my psychiatrist's office.
Edit: No involuntary grippy sock vacation just yet but I'll keep you guys posted.
this post was submitted on 24 May 2025
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Mental Health
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Depressed, stressed, and irrationally angry. What's new?
Things are going a bit better. I got my entire house clean this morning and I feel some of the joy and color coming back into my life, as well as the motivation to set goals again.
I always sleep really strangely coming out of a depressive episode. It's like I am dead asleep all night, need more sleep than normal, and my dreams are super intense and strange. When I wake up, it's like pulling my consciousness out of the void. It feels like my brain is trying to heal itself.
I read the book Recursion and now I'm sad I don't have the ability to go back in time 🫠
What is that book about?
Spoiler Free: Time Travel
Minor Spoilers
Someone inadvertently invents a "Chair" that allows someone to travel into one of their memories which would "kill" them in the original timeline, but if they succeed in the time-jump, their consciousness goes back to the exact moment when that memory happened.
Medium-Level of Spoilers
When someone goes back in time, say from May 26, 2025 to April 26, 2025, nobody (except the time-traveler) in the new timeline will remember the events of the old timeline, until the new timeline's May 26, 2025, the exact moment the time-traveller "died" (aka: time-jumped) in the previous one. The time-traveller doesn't actually die in the new timeline, but they will have the memories of dying (and its apparantly very painful).
MAJOR Spoilers
Eventually, the government of the US (where the Story takes place. Seizes the "Chair" Time Machine and eventually someone hacked the servers and the entire world knows. The protagonists try to stop it, but in each timeline, the world remembers again on the exact moment the time-traveller made the time-jump on the previous timeline. This results in a global Nuclear War, as the protagonists keeps trying and trying to stop the world from remembering that the time machine exists.
Very interesting book. I am usually not a book reader, but this had no adaptations so I was forced to read it to enjoy the story.
I don't exactly like the characters too much, the characters are "meh" to me, I just like the premise and the unique time travel rules.
Will probably give it a try, so not clicking on any spoilers.
Slowly descending deeper into despair. My life's only getting worse the world's getting worse. I have nothing and can't find anything worth living for or anything to even reasonably distract from this pain... So basically nothing new.
mood. u2? dang.
I had an amazing day yesterday, and now I’m sobbing because I failed to save a baby bird.
You at least tried, be proud of that.
it would've died without you, you just showed it love before it passed ❤️
I don't know. Things are going "better", but I'm kinda irritable for some reason. Like the "better" isn't coming fast enough.
Doing OK. Been getting my steps in every day and it's helping my mental health, plus the pup is very happy about all the walks.