this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2025
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To this day, she remembers the racing thoughts, the instant nausea, the hairs prickling up on her legs, the sweaty palms. She had shared a photograph of herself in her underwear with a boy she trusted and, very soon, it had been sent around the school and across her small home town, Aberystwyth, Wales. She became a local celebrity for all the wrong reasons. Younger kids would approach her laughing and ask for a hug. Members of the men’s football team saw it – and one showed someone who knew Davies’s nan, so that’s how her family found out.

Her book, No One Wants to See Your D*ck, takes a deep dive into the negatives. It covers Davies’s experiences in the digital world – that includes cyberflashing such as all those unsolicited dick pics – as well as the widespread use of her images on pornography sites, escort services, dating apps, sex chats (“Ready for Rape? Role play now!” with her picture alongside it). However, the book also shines a light on the dark online men’s spaces, what they’re saying, the “games” they’re playing. “I wanted to show the reality of what men are doing,” says Davies. “People will say: ‘It’s not all men’ and no, it isn’t, but it also isn’t a small number of weirdos on the dark web in their mum’s basements. These are forums with millions of members on mainstream sites such as Reddit, Discord and 4chan. These are men writing about their wives, their mums, their mate’s daughter, exchanging images, sharing women’s names, socials and contact details, and no one – not one man – is calling them out. They’re patting each other on the back.”

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Transitioning to male and having the amount of sexual harassment and catcalling I get in public reduced by like half (still look ambiguous) has been crazy. I was followed home by a car recently, they yelled at me to join them, I responded "what??" with my now deepened voice and they said "nevermind" and drove away. I think about that a lot and what may have happened if they'd done that a year earlier

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 day ago

This is what happens when you let your son's role models be sociopathic pieces of shit like the Tate brothers, Fresh and Fit, and the assorted fucking losers on Youtube who still use "SJW" like it's 2015.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (2 children)

There are some pretty awful takes in these replies. It seems a fair number of men here at least vacation near the "manosphere".

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 hours ago

This take is even more useless. A part of the idiotic flora of parasites that follows it around

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yeah right now Lemmy is a niche appeal social media site with a minor technical barrier to entry, so it's basically the ideal environment for toxic users to spawn. World is getting better as more regular-human users are driven off reddit, and there's obviously blahaj and similar instances, but yeah it's pretty rough here. Lots of "Anyone who'd choose the bear over me is just an idiot, I'd never completely miss the point like a bear would" types.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago

I just like that she calls out and lumps in 4chan with Reddit and Discord—because that's really what's it's become now. I mean there are dicks lurking and active in any corner of the Internet but those platforms in particular are obviously mainstream enough or known to harbor all kinds.... especially the kind she talks about.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Pro tip - I'll absolutely snitch on the guys I know that you probably shouldn't date. Maybe you have a male friend that's the same.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I feel like I'm in a different universe to most people. Only chance I get to call anyone out for anything is littering and playing music loudly in public. Honestly feels like confirmation bias, but I'm sure I'm wrong.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I mean, if you went to 4chan you could presumably call out more, but it'd be kind of like yelling into a hurricane. Toxicity is self-concentrating in really anonymous online spaces.

IRL bigots tend to hide their shit from non-target non-bigots.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

Toxicity is self-concentrating in really anonymous online spaces.

The cause of and consequences of The Man-o-Sphere in a nutshell. People get drawn in by the promise of gamified easy answers to relationships (via PUA community, evangelist trad-life influencers, and other self-help gurus). But it's a bait-and-switch, with "advice" drifting from "how to find an easy relationship" into "why women are awful and you should hate them."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

If it makes you feel any better, I can ping you next time I encounter misogyny on Lemmy? It's far less toxic than a lot of online places, but it's definitely got corners where offensive takes get upvoted.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago

the hairs prickling up on her legs

Some incel somewhere: "WTF IS THIS WOKE BULLSHIT!?!?!?!"

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago (6 children)

It's insane to me that the greatest threat to women is dating men. Who the hell is raising these guys? Even in my worst days I never blamed women for my dating problems - I blamed myself. Therapy helped with that problem though. But the motives of mass misogyny are just opaque to me. Sort your shit guys, don't be a bastard.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (20 children)

The internet is raising them. They aren't going outside and saying these things where at least one man would smack him upside the head in order to correct bad behavior. They aren't going outside and trying this shit on women who will reject their bad behaviors. Or worse running to legal trouble for harassing or assaulting women. Whereby it used to be the guy would self reflect and realize he's doing it wrong.

The internet is telling them stories about how these behaviors are what the "alpha" males are doing to successfully get all the women. What is the bullshit stat? Like 1% of top men get 99% of women or some stupid shit.

The internet lies to them, painting a dark twisted world. And then these guys go out to the real world to treat women in the way they think the world is some kind of dark world. They get extreme negative experiences. Which to them proves that the internet was right about everything.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago (13 children)

99% of men are disgusted by this type of thing, but with billions of people and instant communication. this type of thing is bound to pop up. and because normal people aren't looking at this type of thing, they're echo chambers of degeneracy. but it really bothers me when people use sex based generalizations for things like this. millions of people isn't very much on a global scale.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

I think it is more widespread than you imagine. If admiration for Andrew Tate is an indicator of seriously misogynistic attitudes, then the statistics (for the UK) are quite shocking:

Nearly a quarter (23%) of 15-16-year-old boys have a positive view of Andrew Tate compared to only 10% of girls at this age.

Furthermore, one-third of dads (32%) view Andrew Tate favourably compared to 10% of mums. This positive view is even higher among young dads: 52% of 25-34-year-old dads compared to 19% of mums.

Additionally, 49% of 25-34-year-old dads believe their child has a positive view of Andrew Tate.

Source: https://www.internetmatters.org/hub/research/research-into-online-misogyny-and-image-based-abuse/

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 days ago (15 children)

Sending unwarranted dick picks should get you a sizeable fine, maybe 600 bucks and a 2 year registry in a sex offender list.

Give you a choice to stop fucking up and if you escalate and keep doing it then things get worse for oyu.

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