this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2025
379 points (99.2% liked)

Not The Onion

22634 readers
1067 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 109 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The penguin is okay, that's the only thing important here.

[–] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago

First thing I checked the article for.

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 15 points 2 years ago

And that’s why I came here before potentially seeing something that would make me sad in the article.

[–] huppakee@lemm.ee 64 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Should have tariffed him better

Apparently the penguin wanted a say in whether or not it was being deported

[–] andybytes@programming.dev 3 points 2 years ago

The birds are fighting back

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 34 points 2 years ago
[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

See, penguins were never meant to fly

[–] sundray@kbin.earth 4 points 2 years ago

And he was drunk!

[–] pulsewidth@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago
[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

The penguin, which had been placed in the box and on the lap of a passenger, slid off and knocked the pilot's controls just after take-off from **Bird Island **

take-off from **Bird Island **

[–] andybytes@programming.dev 17 points 2 years ago

The authority said that "the lack of secure containment for the penguin" was responsible for creating the "dangerous situation".Hahaha

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I'm going to be a pedant, and point out it was an unsecured box, with a penguin in it, which knocked the controls.

[–] Glitterbomb@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Weird way to say the on-board computer is Linux based, but ok. Link to the CVE?

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 6 points 2 years ago

It was just shitty drivers.

[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

(CVE-2016-5195)

[–] Bernadette@lemy.lol 4 points 2 years ago

Yeah but unsecured box doesn't generate clicks

[–] snuggledick@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah but would the box have slipped without the penguin in it? We need more penguin box experiments I think.

[–] D_C@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

Could this be a Schroedinger's penguin situation?

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is it bad that my immediate thought was "Is the penguin okay?"

[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 years ago

If it is bad, I don't wanna be good. Poor penguin

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 years ago

"Ooh, look, a button!"

"Huh? Private, don't!!!"

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

they were probably trying to steal the penguin... so they got what they deserve

[–] Ledericas@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

in a box for pets, rather than proper cage conservationist use, definitely stealing it.

[–] PacMan@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago

And Grounded Linux was born on this day

[–] Alpha71@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

THIS is why america tariffed them!

[–] MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago
[–] dontbelasagne@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Feathers mcgraw strikes again

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 2 years ago

it's because franklin sherman wasn't there to point out the plotholes

https://youtu.be/3ENLigFHadY