The Onion and other satire w/ layers

In a press junket addressing the finale of the HBO series, White Lotus actor Patrick Schwarzenegger told reporters Tuesday he had grown worried that his role in the show would leave him typecast as a hand job recipient. “I’m just concerned that directors will look at me from now on and think that all I can do on screen is be given tug jobs,” said Schwarzenegger, who bemoaned the fact that every script his agent had sent his way in recent weeks had pigeonholed him as a character who is masturbated to climax by another character.