To Whom It May Concern:
It's come to my attention So-called "Pentagram Sam"
Just becuz you watch Buffy And you bought a Chronicle Book about Aleister Crowley Doesn't mean you reside on the Darkside
mm-mmm
Pentagram Sam ain't no Pentagram Smarty I'm spilling all yr secrets like I'm Israel Regardie You got yr cauldron at the Halloween Superstore You in the basement with yr older sister's Ouija board
I'm swaggin' with the Abramelin I got fiddy demonz, gonna do wut I tell 'em I got six sigilz on my emerald ringz How 'bout you? you got any of them things?
You think you got yr hex on All you got are spex on Harry Potter, Hot Topic Wutchu bouncin' checks on
I'm blingin' in the Golden Dawn I'm gonna ting ting and then you be gone
I'm givin' crazy witch like Fairuza Balk Scrapin' pointy bootz be the way that I walk I got crystal ballz and my magic is black Pentagram Sam I got my wand in yr crack
I'm spinnin' old school on my Rider decks While you spent two ducats on those special effects You be quakin' in yr Docs When you hear my malediction You think you are a warlock But it's just a fiction We be chillin' with the Bornless One Not you Sam, you be out on yr bunz You ten kinda jealous when you hear wut I chant Step aside poser, I'm the Hierophant
Four Barrel coffee and a maple bacon donut Rollin' fix-fix down Valencia I own it I'm Facebook friendz with Zeena LaVey Pentagram Sam get outta the way
Pentagram Sam more like Pentagram Suzy Yr Pentagram-mom's be up in my jacuzzi We live in San Francisco in the mystical fog You feature Pendu Disco on yr Tumblr blog
I got Satan on speed-dial Raisin' dead freestyle Super fancy necromancy Do our bidding meanwhile
Makin' evil shapes in non-Euclidean geometry My coven built a creature Then we sent it out to haunt you
You be ridin' on that busted broom While Mist-E breakin' into every tomb
With the Old Ones We stand tall Your kindercoven's Gonna fall
Miskatonic U Is my Alma Mater My territory is terror Yours is Norwich Terrier
You daydream in the Witch what? I'll see you in your nightmares but I bring the Dunwich Horror, Can't be found in any bookstore
Cover you in gore or phantasmatic color My chronic is cthon... icky ooze on your front door
To the club Perform the right Blackest night No hope Yog at the velvet ropes I'm plus nine. You? Nope.
Dr. Herbert West Raised a posse for the party Even Erich Zann Brought his moded MonoPoly
Look at me and you're petrified See? Even death will die.
I'm spittin' on the Malleus Maleficarum daily-us You only got the Cliff Notes, sacrificing plushie goats
Casting magic circles with a unicursal hexagram Al-hazred called up Babylon, he's sendin' you a telegram
Giving you the boot like you was low-rent Shannon Doherty The only magic potion that you drink comes in a for-ety Yr blowing up the Myspace Right next to yr butterface Piper Paige Phoebe Prue Charmed I'm sure But now yr thru...