this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost
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That’s why my CV looks so strong:
Director of Internal Audit; Enron Corp. (1998-2001)
Senior Vice President for Risk Management; Lehman Brothers (2002-2008)
Edit: for all the recruiters reaching out, I’m not interested. I’m currently Managing Director for Growth (Europe) at Tesla, and expecting to get a huge bonus after our Q4 2025 sales numbers are final.
Didn't you also help found that FTX crypto exchange a few years ago too?
I just now realized: someone has the most cursed resume on LinkedIn. I'd expect something in line with this.
Weren’t you also the Lead Safety Engineer at OceanGate for a while?
No, that was at Boeing.
Head of security, Wold Trade Centre, NY, 1995-2001.
I see from your resume that you're good at looking the other way while we make billions. You're hired.
PLEASE
I see you left that short stint at WorldCom off your resume.