this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2026
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Start it at night when his bedroom light goes off for him to sleep. Let it go for approximately 30 seconds after his light turns on so he gets up to check then cut it off. Repeat until you're tired enough that's it's no longer worth the joy. You can also raise the volume slowly when he decides he's going to sleep through it and deal with it tomorrow
I feel like this might violate the Geneva convention
Canadian rule of the Geneva convention: It's not a war crime the first time!
It isn't written down or agreed to by UN member states, so it's a-ok to do here
If it's not a war but just a special pettiness operation, the Geneva conventions don't hold.
I'd use the sound of a cricket or some kind of insect. Make him paranoid and spend all his time hunting for an imaginary bug
3 seconds of mosquitoes buzz, like it just swooped near. That’d do it for me.
If you're monitoring his movements, I'd go with a dripping tap sound. Just enough irregularity in the timing to keep it interesting. Silence it every time he gets out of bed.
I must say, playlist on shuffle of 1-30 minutes of silence and one single chirp seems equally devious while also not requiring you to stay up. Loop the playlist over the course of an hour, let the shuffle adjust how long between chirps each one is