this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2026
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This has happened too many times to be a coincidence and it's always men from Taimi that already know I'm trans, it's never the men from Hinge whom I date stealth.

They invite you over everything seems nice until you tell them you don't want sex. I'm asexual, and this leads to some agressive reaction from him always followed by "you're too young and immature you can't be asexual" with tarnsphobic remarks. ALWAYS the same sentences.

This last time this guy yelled at me saying "You think I'm stupid? You're asexual but post pictures of your fat ass in your profile" I'm not joking he literally said that shit ๐Ÿ’€

Mind you they're not pictures of my butt, I'm fully clothed, this is an example:

It's funny how I never get these reactions from men that I'm having a date with while stealth, not even when I tell them later. They either don't care or just tell me they're not interested in trans people, but the guys who are from Taimi seem to be the most transphobic and deranged.

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[โ€“] choihanna@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Of course they're chasers, but I feel like this goes beyond that. These are dangerous people I'm talking about, I've been threatened by them just because I refused to have sex in the first date.

[โ€“] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, that's just chasers. Some aren't violent, but the well is full on poisoned. This is explicitly the reason why the standard advice has long been to never go for chasers no matter how lonely you are. There are cis men who are just pretty damn into trans chicks but aren't chasers, you can learn to tell the difference, but if you go where the chasers are then you're probably going to find a lot of them. Chasers are typically only or primarily interested in sex, they see our bodies through a fetishized lens, many are ashamed of their attraction to us, and they're disproportionately violent.

[โ€“] choihanna@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm not even going for them, it's just how Taimi is made. Yeah I should stay stealth even in dating, I'm good with the normal straight men I don't have a desire for men "into trans chicks" specifically

[โ€“] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If they're just normal about their interest in a certain type but still saw me as a human worthy of basic respect rather than just a sex toy, I wouldn't personally call them a chaser.

Granted, I'm still early in my transition and don't date (aroace), so I have limited experience with such and don't have to to deal with partners who'd be disappointed if I did things like got bottom surgery, but would still be respectful about it. So my usage of the term may be different. But not sure if there are enough cis men in the world who are into gock are also respectful to make a meaningful differentiation from chasers.

[โ€“] choihanna@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Men into "gock" are just closeted gay men, not just "chasers" . But I think these terms are kinda subjective

[โ€“] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The person who I've most recently seen who likes gock has no problem expressing his love of men (and women) and penises in general, so he's certainly not a closeted gay man. Their top preference just happens to be a mixture of features that typically belong to one sex or the other and trans women disproportionately fit the type at some point in their transitioning. But I don't think they're a chaser.