choihanna

joined 4 months ago
 

I spent years under a strong depression when I was in High School, I didn't take care of my appearance and that made people think I was a lesbian for some reason.

Now I'm in uni and living my best life.

I feel confident again and I get compliments on the street everyday.

I'm still very prone to depression but it isn't as strong as before, at least enough so I can take care of myself.

There was a period where I took care of my physical appearance but not my health which really affected me specially because it made people think I was fine at that point. But they were very serious issues.

I'm healthy and happy like when I was 13 and I can only regret that I allowed bullying to take that away from me.

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago

For me it was the complete opposite, I didn't like nail polish, heels etc for years until now, nowadays I use a curling iron everyday, get my nails done, wear heels. You just go through phases and phases in your life it's not about being trans

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 months ago

Well it was just an example of a cultural stereotype.

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Exactly, I'm not attractive either but I don't think I'm a better person for it. Being good in a relationship is about being mature enough.

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think it's just my personality, I was bullied in highschool until I was 18 so I'm a very awkward person and that with low self-esteem overall it's just unattractive. And well on top of that being trans it's too many downsides for all guys.

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submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by choihanna@lemmy.zip to c/unpopularopinion@lemmy.world
 

All my life I've been led to believe that unattractive men will treat you better or are more genuine. Mainly movies like The Hunchback of Notre-Dame and many others where they depict a pretty girl with an unattractive male partner/protagonist where she falls in love with him because of the way he treats her.

Who would have said life is not like in movies? But for some reason we will still have this stereotype in mind.

The truth is I've been treated worse by guys who were unattractive in comparison to guys who are attractive. Specially when they make you feel bad about yourself which never happened to me with an attractive guy. They never made me feel unattractive or lesser than them.

Nerdy guys have been the worst in my experience, no flowers, no gentleman behavior or trying to be interested in your interests. Many awkward silences and only interacting with you for sex.

This is just a tendency, not a rule. Just never believe that someone's appearance is related to their personality (even if it's in a positive way).

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Well I'm plain average in my opinion, here's two picture of myself

I don't drink alcohol tho

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago

The problem is that I'm 1.60m and I've been harassed previously in an airport at broad daylight. That's why I'm a bit scared to do this but I think I'll stay by the police department

 

I'm in northern Spain and have to take a train to Madrid to get to a flight. But I arrive to the train station too late at 11:40 so booking is not an option since most places check in are at 12:00 and I'd probably not get in time.

Would it be too dangerous to stay up all night on the street?

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hmmm I'm not sure all straight men had a passing by men 🤣

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Uhhh I don't know any of that, I'm Korean and we don't have anything of that. Being trans is a separate thing from women, you're technically not a man but not a woman either. Also you can't be a biological woman, that's not how it works 🤣 if you have XY chromosomes you are a male it doesn't matter if you remove your genitals.

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 months ago

Sexist? I'm just attracted to what I'm attracted to. I can't change that everyone has a type

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 months ago

Honestly I might give up on it, it's not something that you really need to live 🤷🏻‍♀️

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 months ago

I don't have these kinds of problems when I don't disclose. And I'm not saying that I've dated anyone without disclosing but every male friend I had did end up trying to date me (my friends don't know about it). I notice the difference in behavior, when they don't know what I am they act as if I was the last glass of water in the desert.

[–] choihanna@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Okay the issue here is, I've done this before and it didn't work. And right now I'm not on a stage where I want to expose my transness to my social circle, what's most likely to happen if I tell a guy who is into me is that he will be shocked and tell a lot of people. Also there's barely any men interested in my hobbies unless they're gay

 

So before anything I'm a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I'd like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.

I've been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).

I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.

It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don't understand what they want.

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