Progressive Politics

We all need to start collectively working on our insult game.

Yelling “fuck you” and “go home” over and over again is something these people can train themselves to ignore. People need to start roasting them like insult comics.

And remember to address key sore spots: domestic abuse, fragile masculinity and daddy issues.

And for some quick inspiration, consider the following exchanges from a recent episode of Shoresy...

"Wanna talk about a terrible call? Your mom FaceTimed me when I was watching videos on my phone with Liam's mom."

"You should download DuoLingo on there for when the EU skates circles around you in six languages."

"Heard the EU's game plan: Fee fi fo fum, stick it right up Shoresy's bum."

"EU outscored opponents 71 to 9, but here come the NOSHO Norstars, WEEW!"

"WEEW!"

"You're just old as fuck, eh?"

"Gonna get us kicked out of NATO for not contributing anything on defense."

"What's up later? Put on a ballgame and fall asleep in a recliner?"

"Anything concerning come up in your bloodwork or what?"

"Get into any good soups lately?"

"Let's loosen it up a bit bud, I know that circulation's a problem at your age."

"You a bisque or a chowder guy?"

"Want me to show ya how to enlarge the font size on your phone ya old fart?"

"Oh, I'm old? I didn't want to tell ya this Cor, I knew your mom was old but did you know she lost her virginity at the Calgery Olympics?"

"Fuck you, Shoresy."

"Which is crazy cuz Liam's mom lost hers to a luger in Lillehammer."

"Fuck you, Shoresy."

"Fuck you, Liam. Your mom calls me 'daddy' so much I feel like I should be taking you out to the yard to throw the old pigskin around."

"Fuck you."

"Don't talk to your father like that."

"Fuck you, Shoresy."

"Uh oh, smells like your mom washed your jersey with her bedsheets."

"Fuck you, Shoresy!"

"Fuck your mom on your 101 Dalmations bedsheets last night Liam."

"Fuck you."

"Yeah, she was dalmation 102."

"Fuck you, Shoresy."

"Fuck you, Cory. I bench pressed your mom 40 reps, now she wants me to do it all the time. I'm like 'Leave me alone, my ice cream's melting.'"

"Fuck you!"

"Your mom says 'Come to the bedroom, I'm horny.' I go in there and she's eating sunflower seeds."

"Fuck you, Shoresy!"

"Fuck you, Cory. I get it. Your mom loves body shots. But not at Chuck E Cheese. Like have some decorum."

"Fuck you, Shoresy."

"Fuck you, Liam. I told your mom Cory's mom could open a pop-off with her teeth so she learned how to open a twist-off with her twat."

"Fuck you, Shoresy!"

"Fuck you, Cory. Your mom sticks so many toys up her ass I call her Anal Fissure Price."

"Hey Liam, can you give your mom her heartworm medication for me, but make sure you wrap it in a treat or she'll spit it right back out."

"I hope the EU kills you guys."

"Aww, I didn't want to tell you this Liam but I just found your mom's got more kills than me."

"Fuck you!"