this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
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Imagine living in a world where squirrel you startled would jump out of a bush and electrocute people. Or that flower you tried to pick was actually a pokemon and just sprayed you with sarin gas?
In that world I would empathize with gun nuts. How else will you deal with the 30-50 feral Lechonk that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?
Imagine you are just going for a walk on the path near the creek. Then all of a sudden a Hitmonlee jumps out and just kicks you straight in the nuts. Or a 5ft scyther appears and slashes you in half. Or every year a gyarados appears in a random port city and just destroys everything. Lagos last year, Chicago this year, Singapore a decade ago, Rotterdam before that. Pidgeots fly at super sonic speeds and are large enough to prey on a golden retriever.
We would all be absolutely fucked if pokemon were real.
Sounds like the monster hunter universe doesn't it? We'd build knives out of Scyther blades, armor out of Steelixes and have cities/communities wrecked by the occasional boss monster wandering about. And probably domesticate the Pikachu to be palicoes.
To be fair, monster hunter goes buck fucking wild with calamities though.
"Hey hunter, rumor has it, your next target is either the devil sent to destroy the world, or possibly the mother of all creation. Here's some whetstones!"
"Sup hunter. Got a volcano on our hands. Do us a favor and kill it, would you? Don't forget your lucky cape."
"Oh hey! Hope you don't mind a little wind, cause your next quest is to kill the god of hurricanes! Best to take a quick dip in the sauna before you go."
"Hunter, how's it going? I know this week's been pretty crazy with the rogue fighter jet and the giant mech suit you killed already, but if you could just do me a solid and jump into that ominous pit and kill death itself for me, that'd be very cool of you. The chef made a nice fondue for you before you head out!"