this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2025
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While I agree with the rest, "your values are who you are" sounds very reductive. We are not one single aspect, not just our values, or thoughts, or emotions, or actions, but the dynamic system of them all.
not everyone can afford to have their actions match their values aye
Your values are who you are when you get to think about what you want to be. They are what you’re proud of, and they are what allow you to look upon your actions positively. Your values and principles are the foundation everything else is built on.
People will certainly judge your actions, and that’s fair for them to do much of the time, but if your actions and your values are so disconnected that the difference comes into play so strongly then you might need to read the post over a few more times.
I would say our life experiences are the foundation that our values are then developed on. People in different circumstances will likely end up with different values (or even if broadly the same values, they will prioritise them differently).
I wasn't commenting because of my personal experiences, but because I've read about life stories of others where they had to act in ways that went contrary to their values. Like when they are stuck in an abusive family or relationship dynamic, or in a job where they have to act unethically to be able to afford housing and food. During the pandemic I've come across the concept of moral injury which seems to refer to similar situations.