this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2025
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Trans Memes
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It took a while for me to switch pronouns when my colleague transitioned. Up until that point I had been "hey man... man, listen... y'alright dude..." etc. (literally had no idea what they were going through until the day before)
I simply did not have that same banter vocabulary for girls, and I just had to learn to say "hey... listen... y'alright..."
The dynamic changed a bit for a week, but then it bounced back fine. I just wince at all the gender-affirming vernacular in my casual speech that must have burned them every time I said it
My habit of calling every person "dude" and saying "man" as just a way to start a sentence regardless of the gender of the person I'm talking to has made awkward moments before lol. I never mean anything by it or even think about it but every so often talking to a trans friend I will go "oop, sorry"
I just use the formal words for women in an informal tone. "Look lady", "madam, I assure you this shit is fucked" etc
Isn't that the same problem as using "man" though ? You're affirming a pronoun that they genuinely might not jell with, and are too polite/scared of reproach to correct
Listen here mother fucker!
Works for everyone over age 12
I like shitfuck. Now look here shitfuck.
Buddy/champ/sport are gender neutral but maybe not the vibe you're going for
They did mention that they were the lacking the vocab for girls specifically. I don't think this was meant to be a general suggestion.
Same, I find actual pronouns very easy but these more casual terms of address have been harder to find replacements for, for me in a non-binary context. Luckily my friends are very forgiving.
My go-to has pretty much become "friend" although this might not work with a colleague.