ADHD memes

I'm not diagnosed. I work somewhere with an unusually high number of people with ADHD, autism and anxiety disorders. With the autistic ones it tends to be the most obvious. With ADHDers it is harder to tell sometimes.

If someone who appears to have their shit together tells me that they think they have ADHD or that they have it, I believe them. If they'd turn out to have lied to me, I don't really care. I'd probably just find their behavior to be a bit weird.

The only time I get pissed off about people with ADHD is when I meet those who thinks it is everybody elses' job to fix them. Luckily I have only met two of those. Everybody else I have met have been good people with their flaws and their struggles that may or may not get better ever, but at the very least they own their disability and don't think it is the whole world's responsibility to baby them. I knew one guy who expected me to call him in the morning to wake him up for work. He was in his 30s at the time. I was also supposed to do a bunch of other things that I have since forgotten. He had made a list like I was his mother. People like that, I genuinely despise.

As for myself, as I said, not diagnosed. I have a lot of symptoms and I appear at first glance to be a functioning member of society. I go to work everyday and deliver to various degrees, but I always deliver and I always meet my deadlines. Nobody, other than the ones working with me, knows all the acrobatics I do behind the scenes to make things look normal on the surface. I strive for extreme structure, yet I can barely set it up myself, and maintaining it is almost impossible. I start so many things that never get finished. I have constant racing thoughts and when I don't have that I have racing emotions where I can go through every emotion known to man within minutes and repeat them in a loop for hours with no pause button. I have so many different challenges I struggle with in my personal life that don't get to take over my life entirely because I'm super lucky to have good people around me whose abilities to create and maintain structures is something I lean on in my daily life. Every day I do my best to be productive and deliver. I have days where I just spin in my chair and water the plants at work or watch youtube videos. I have those days. I also have days where I am super productive and get a lot of things done and catch up on lost time. I always make it work, but I also know how fragile my structure is for me. Not too many things can go wrong before I crumble into a useless mess.

I suspect there are many people out there who are like me, who don't have a diagnosis, who don't appear to have it or who don't have it enough, who only appear that way because the systems they have in place for them and the people they have around them helps them to appear normal.

I can tell you that the only reason I haven't seen a psychiatrist yet is because the entire process of getting a diagnosis is so overwhelming and long that I just can't do it. I got a referral at one point and was supposed to find myself a psychiatrist on my own and I just couldn't do it. I have no idea how people who are worse off than me are able to get to the stage of seeing a psychiatrist in the first place. It is a complete mystery to me.