this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
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Man insisting he is an ‘Alpha Male’ seems awfully keen to follow the lead of other men on the Internet (newsthump.com)
submitted 1 month ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works
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Local man and self-proclaimed “alpha male” Simon Williams, 35, was today spotted scrolling through his phone to double-check what Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, and whichever shirtless ‘manosphere coach’ just went viral on TikTok would like him to do next.

Despite declaring himself a lone wolf who “bows to no one,” Simon appears to have constructed his entire personality out of recycled advice barked at him by other men online, including how to sit, how to eat steak, and the correct facial expression to wear while pretending to own a Bugatti.

“He keeps saying he’s an independent leader of men,” said a friend, “but then he’ll excuse himself mid-conversation to watch a YouTube short of a cigar-chomping influencer explaining the correct way to dominate a handshake. [...]

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[–] mikesizachrist@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

All these "men" these cuck fairies look up to are such whiny voiced pansies: Ben shapiro, matt walsh, jordan peterson, kash patel, chrowder, tucker carlson, charlie kirk. They're all the softest fucks you've ever seen, but somehow seen as manly men

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

jordan peterson at least started out appearing confident and like he had his shit together, comparing then to now is hilarious

[–] shawn1122@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

The benzos will do that..

[–] mikesizachrist@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Makes him worse imo. More understandable that ppl would be duped but still. Fucking pseudo-intelluctual freak; makeshift daddy for lost boys.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

chrowder

I'm so glad Steven Chowder has pretty much disappeared since that video came out of him abusing his pregnant wife.