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OK, so the difference is a nationalist is a supremacist and a patriot is not.
So I'm back to my original statement, then. Patriotism sucks. Call it what you want, but allegiance to specifically a nation, nation-state or whatever construct you're assigning special status is bad and I actively oppose it.
I'm not arguing in bad faith, I'm disagreeing. But you made it seem like we don't actually disagree and like you had a distinction that made patriotism not match the thing I'm saying is bad, so I want to understand if that's the case. It doesn't seem to be the case. You think patriotism is not a problem and think my negative characterization is of nationalism instead.
Let me be clear, it is not.
The patriotism you're talking about? The lovey-dovey "improve your country and learn from others" patriotism? It sucks. That's what I'm saying here.
I'm also saying it's just whitewashed nationalism and that your distinction between supremacist nationalism and patriotic nationalism is superficial at best an non-existant at worst. Sure, not all nationalists or patriots are equally toxic, but that doesn't mean the concept of patriotism is salvageable into something positive.
You owe no allegiance to your nation, beyond what ties you culturally to the groups of people that live within it. Just like you don't owe allegiance to your hometown beyond the same concerns. Or, you know, to the planet.
You wanting to improve any one of those scales of human organization isn't any better or worse than the other, and the mere fact of implying any special relevant to one of them is a brand of nationalism I just don't find justified. It's a bit like religion. It can be well-intentioned and genuine, but in the long view of history it is undeniably an irrational, toxic force at the core of many atrocities. I will respect it and your right to participate in it, because the alternative is worse, but I won't take part in it and I don't think it's a good thing.