I just found out yesterday that I am Bipolar, have severe anxiety and depression, PTSD and likely ADHD but it'll take a while to figure out cause they all have overlapping symptoms. Apparently I've been playing as a beginner on expert mode all along. Getting actual diagnosis for these things is a while thing unto itself where I live. It's not real easy to get a psychologist unless you pay out of pocket. I don't have money for that.

It took a long time. Had to quit booze. Straighten up my life some. Have a family to care about. Almost die from crazy cancer. Before I made the calls. Don't beat yourself up too bad.