this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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Autism
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I often play dumb about little details I've noticed or remembered. I got in the habit when I was a kid and people would react weirdly like, "why do you know that?" So I'd just pretend I didn't even when I did, and I never really stopped. I might notice what car somebody drives, for example, but if it comes up I just act like I don't know unless they've specifically told me. I barely realize I'm doing it anymore.
how is it that i make weird observations about the minutiae of someone's outfit and lifestyle but I can't actually remember things they want me to like their last name and birthday
That AuDHD life
Same! I know what vehicle most of my coworkers drive so I know which coworkers to talk cars/bikes with
Same here, but here in Germany you have location based number plates and owners often choose the remaining numbers/letters themselves, so I know which motorway they're going to drive on and the date of their birthday/marriage too. Sometimes it's hell. I drive to work with my colleague and he thinks I'm nuts for parsing all the plates.
I kind of do the opposite where sometimes I notice something but I don't say anything cause I assumed everyone else did too. But when something else happens because of that thing it turns out nobody else saw it other than me. Then I'd feel guilty for not speaking up earlier. So now I just point out stuff even when it seems painfully obvious
Would telling them you have a photographic memory if they ask how you know work? Neurotypicals generally seem to accept that in my experience.
Nah, I'm AuDHD so my memory retains whatever tf random crap it wants and constantly forgets relevant things like my own address and what I was right in the middle of saying. But even if I could convince somebody, in my experience it still makes them uncomfortable. Or, it did enough times that it's now lodged in my brain as something to put underneath the mask.
Yeah, it doesn't matter whether it's true or not, it's just a concept people are familiar with. It's a shame you have to lie about something so harmless because it upsets people. But of course you're the "weird one."