this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2025
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BONTO! was sooo good. Like it really improved the Slorpiness.
No way! BONTO! was just the enshitfication of Slorp by a private equity firm.
<unwarranted rage No way, BONTO! sucked. You couldn't even Slorp your entire friends list anymore, and they added all of those BONTOgrams for no reason. We disagree on a topic, so I despise you now and your entire genetic line. </rage
But you should really try NeWSlarP, a FLOSS fork of Slorp by the original developer that brings back both SlorpTokens and Schlarpmänner!
This is the wildest syntax I've ever seen! At first, I thought it was unparsable nonsense. Then I realized that your tags are capital-letter-terminated. Is this from a language I don't know or have you unwittingly cooked up a piece of a cursed programming language? If the latter, I propose Slorp as its name.
Closing
>for the tag is left as an exercise for the reader.unwarrantedis a property of theragetag (the properties are declared before the tag name)This... This isn't something you can actually do in HTML is it? I've been doing web development for years and I feel like I'm about to learn some horrifically cursed knowledge...
Nope, it's a CHTML extension. C for cursed, although that's redundant.
HTML goes <br>
I'm not sure if that's a "machine goes brrrrrr" joke or not. If it is, it's brilliant. XD
oh thank fuck
Lmao that's great
The real answer is that when I closed the tags, they didn't show up in the comment. So I left them open, because it looked utterly ridiculous. But I like your interpretation way better!
Probably needed to escape them with \
Your end tag for rage is the wrong way and I do hate you and your entire genetic line now
Are we just turning into the bug aliens from Rick and Morty?
I prefer Slurm, myself.
You jest but...
Enshittification never sleeps, stealing all ideas that it can possibly get away with!
As a top 1% graaaaj user, I always felt bad for you guys. You should migrate to graaaaj, we have asparagus!