this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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Hello its HP...we have an all new printer subscription model we would like to sell you. Give us money monthly. Or better, give us money every time you use the printer!
The way it works is you pay for the printer, take it home, install the software and connect it unnecessarily to the internet where a hacker can easily hack your pii. Then we monitor your ink levels and printing count. If you use it, we charge you per page. If you're running out of ink, we'll charge you monthly and send you a new bottle. We'll monitor the room temperature and sell that information to the power company. We'll monitor for loud notices and send that to ICE and to shoe making companies so they can either deport you or sell you new shoes. Aren't printers awesome?
Also if you stop paying, your fully functional printer will refuse to print. If you loose connection to the Internet, it will refuse to print.
HP products are forbidden in my house.
Ehhh sir...you can't scan without magenta! Comeback when you buy magenta!