this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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[–] sturger@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (7 children)

Supermarket chain Kroger announced today that they are switching to a subscription model for grocery purchases. “Customers will no longer be allowed to buy groceries directly, but will now be requested to log in using their account in order to complete purchases.”

“Moving to a subscription model will help us to streamline operations, cut costs and continue to provide our customers with prices.” according to the Kroger CAI’s quarterly filing with Wall St.

“At the self-checkout, after scanning your groceries, simply login with your e-mail address and 64 character password. You will then receive a text with your 128 digit verification code, which you can type in manually at the 3rd numeric keypad. If you attempt to purchase more than your subscription level, you’ll be guided on how to restock the excess items.”

Kroger says grocery plans will start at $5/day, which will enable customers to treat themselves to a daily ration of either 1 lb of cabbage or 1 lb of potatoes.

Please note that customers must create a unique account for each Kroger location. “Customer loyalty is very important to us.” said a Kroger representative, who then offered this reporter an opportunity to invest in a pre-public release of Kroger Koin.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 9 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Had me eating the onion until the third paragraph

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