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Recent inconvinient history. They love to dig up ancient "glory days" (e.g., Ancient Rome, Teutonic knights...) and attach them to their image.
They're not meticulous historians though. LGBTQ people were more accepted in the Roman Republic (and in ancient Greek) than today.
"Caius Julius Caesar: husband to all the wives, wife to all the husbands." was a saying that my Latin professor taught us in school.
Being AMAB and bottom was stigmatized to the point their swearing system revolved around emasculation threats, so that's different from what the queer movement of today aims for...
Our swearing system in modern English revolves around sex, violence and infidelity, but our society is also kinda into those things. Societies are complicated.
Edit: also sometimes people still say shit about bottoms when they curse.
I agree that it should not be the goal for any modern civilization to copy Rome. They were not a just society, they had slavery for starters, but Roman citizens enjoyed a lot of personal liberty. If you were dirt poor you would not even have the time for a "nonproductive" relationship, if you'll excuse my expression. Kids were a resource more than a cost.
I'm not an expert but I think "stigmatized" is too strong a word in this context, I'm sure they did joke around if a rumour or a hunch was spread about a person's romantic affairs by the people who hated them for their success or by their enemies, I'm not sure they really cared that much otherwise. Of course before the christian emperors came along.
https://closetprofessor.com/2013/09/09/he-is-every-womans-man-and-every-mans-woman/
Being bottom was really only stigmatized if you were bottoming for a social inferior.
Giving a woman head was more “gay”/stigmatized than taking it up the bum, unless maybe it was a slave penetrating you.
There’s no room or recognition for lesbians really. Trans issues are a tangled web, as they always are.
They don't care. Just like with religious texts, they'll shop around for the things they like and ignore those they don't.