Parents you can tell anything to and be heard without judgement, or a list of all your failings in life.
Parents you're not afraid to tell that you tried for something, just in case you fail and it will be used against you for the rest of your life?
Just to clarify, I love my parents and know they love me back, but 10 minutes is literally the limit of co-existence
I had a good relationship with my dad, but he passed when I was 21. I’ve now been alive longer without a father than with one. He had major faults: racist, homophobic, and started going Baptist when he got cancer. If he had survived it, I think that downfall would have progressed and he’d be a fucking Maggot by now. I don’t think he’d get along well with his pansexual son, bisexual DIL and transgender grandkids. So, and this is not a good feeling, I’m a little appreciative of the fact the relationship ended when it was still good. But I’m haunted by what it would have been like if he survived. Like I said, we had a really good relationship. He taught me all kinds of outdoorsman skills, taught me how to keep family close, and how to honor my word. I don’t know if I could have handled if he survived and continued along that path.
My mom always lived for herself and was abusive. I still flinch when someone touches my face because she hit us so much. I cut ties on my wedding day almost 10 years ago and am much happier and healthier.
They both taught me how not to parent and as long as I keep in mind how their words and actions made me feel, I know how to be a good dad to my kids. I’m not going to say they did me a favor there, but I do rely on that lesson to guide me.
Oh wow, that's quite a double-edge in feelings there.
He sounds, overall, like a good man you could model a few aspects of your life after. Which is rare for abusive parents - it kind of sounds like they were trying to do the best with what they knew, but were unable to cope with the stress, and had no socially acceptable outlet beyond abusing their kids.
Yeah, exactly. Keep the good, discard the bad. Fortunately, only my mom was abusive; dad was just a bigot and turned religious.