this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2025
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Autism
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What triggered or preceded it?
Getting diagnised: I suspected that I was 'different' for many years. I thought I was autistic for a few years but didn't really admit it to myself. Finally I decided that I should get tested and stop hiding from it. I still only tell people on a need to know basis at the moment, but is an open secret.
Telling work: People at work know I'm not NT shall we say, but being in a technical field it's kind of accepted. Work wise however it has held me back. I've been given (well meaning) opportunities that I've not been able to thrive with. Things are getting a little more cut throat nowadays, with more severe consequences, so I thought anything that I can do to preemptively rebalance the deck must be a good idea.
It means that I can have a conversation along the lines of "you know I'm going to have difficulty doing X with Y people, so I'll need some support there, but you know I'll do Z really well. Can we work something out?" Previously I'd just struggle with, and probably fail the whole task, benefitting noone. I'd get over stressed so probably fail other things too. To be absolutely honest, I'm too old and too tired for that shit. Another aspect is that being professional is communicating where you are not able to do a task to a high enough standard. The diagnosis allows me to do this in an open and constructive way.